Thursday, November 1, 2012

My kid with crappy eating habits can beat up your kid with crappy eating habits

A lot of YouTube posters watched this ad and thought the same thing I did- "why isn't this pompous, smug idiot's kid playing soccer wearing a Pediasure costume?"

I mean, if "you are what you eat," and if that fact turns her kid's fellow soccer players into french fries and donuts, why isn't her daughter a jug of milk, water, and sand?

That being a question that is not going to be answered by the good people at Pediasure, I'll ask this one instead- why isn't Pediasure Princess getting her ass handed to her by another little girl who started her day with oatmeal or whole grain cereal and a glass of orange juice?  Because in real life, that Pediasure would leave the spawn of My Child Doesn't Need Fiber gasping for breath by halftime.


  1. How else are children going to get prepared for an adulthood of drinking Red Bull, 5 Hour, and other energy drinks to make up for their shitty adult diets? This stuff is like the gateway drug for kids for that garbage.

  2. Gosh. Not much has changed since last time you covered this product, has it? They're still treating something that should be given to sick children who can't get nutrition any other way and marketed as a wondrous means of sidestepping all of that inconvenient and time-wasting chewing and learning to appreciate new foods that eat away at a child's day.

    1. Pediasure is, essentially, pre-chewed food for finicky, lazy brats who have helpless parents not all that interested in parenting. When they hit fifty or so, I imagine they'll all go on Ensure and just keep the vicious cycle going.

    2. Anything to avoid all that boring 'selecting ingredients', 'cooking', 'savouring a good meal' and 'spending time with the strangers who share your DNA and living space' that gets in the way of staring at little screens.