Tuesday, November 12, 2013

It's not just a slow, halting, uncomfortable ride, it's an adventure

Here at Washington Metrorail, we are always working to find new ways to make your commute more...um, interesting!

Because of our tireless efforts to keep your travel as delightfully unpredictable as possible, we've added a few special weekend attractions, like our Guess When The Next Train Is Coming game.  It's basically a more family-friendly version of our old classic Next Train Arrival Time? None of your Damned Business game.

This weekend-only (for now) offering is available to all Metro riders, except of course for the ones who are on buses because their station is closed for repairs.*  Are you among THAT lucky group?  Check back late in the week to find out, and good luck!

And don't worry, the regular weekday services will continue to be available.  Services like

Elevators out at the following four Metro stops, hope you aren't in a wheelchair

Try to find the Exit Gate that will accept your SmartCard, Go on We Dare You!  

Try to find the FareCard Machine that will actually take debit and credit cards, We Dare You!

Which Metro Station will have an actual employee sitting in his cubicle this week?

Not to mention the classic Metro benefits your parents once enjoyed and which have now been passed on to you, like the calorie-burning Stationary Escalators ("Don't Call Them Stairs, Stairs Don't Have Jagged Teeth!")  and the laugh-out-loud "radios must be used with headphones" signs (since the advent of earbuds, and the apparent willingness of Metrorail to pretend that earbuds are the equivalent of headphones even if everyone on the train can hear what the earbud-user is listening to, these really are quite funny.)  Some traditions are just too good to give up, don't you agree?

*Single-Tracking is all about Serving You Better, of course.  So shut the f--up and get on the bus, you ungrateful, car-less loser.

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