Friday, June 12, 2015

Dairy Queen and Jurassic World: Really Stupid Together

Ah, the Lazy Cross-Promotion.  It's the drum solo of advertising- pointless, time-wasting, mind-numbingly dumb.

Sometimes, cross-promoting makes a little sense.  Like using the characters from Marley and Me to sell dog food (even if that ad required bringing the main character back to life.)  Usually they are astounding nonsequitors which leave us wondering "what the heck were they thinking?"

(One of my favorites which fell into the latter category involved the Lorax selling Denny's breakfast specials- including sausage links.  Um, no.)

In this ad, Jurrasic World is real and it has actual customers and Dairy Queen has purchased a rental license to operate a restaurant inside it. Ok.  But the movie is apparently taking place within the commercial, because the dinosaurs are attacking and people are being killed throughout the park- except inside Dairy Queen, where it's business as usual.  Um.....ok.  And the response of customers to the fact that the people outside are being eaten is....well, good thing we are in here, where the dinosaurs can't get us (because the windows are dinosaur-proof, I guess.)  If they are eating dinner, I guess they'll want to look at the dessert menu after all, because it might take a while for the dinos outside to finish killing off everyone else and eating them.  Might as well just keep consuming Dairy Queen's version of sort-of-food and die at a more leisurely pace.

Ugh, WTF-ever.  I was actually probably going to see this film (even though the two sequels were beyond horrible) until another trailer clued me in to the fact that it was going to feature at least one annoying kid whose safety I was going to be expected to be concerned about.  Deal's off.  As for Dairy Queen- well, I'm not under thirteen, and I don't have a death wish, so why on Earth would I go to Dairy Queen?

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