Friday, June 26, 2015
Xfinity Presents the Future of....umm.... "Awesome....."
Family Gathering, Before Xfinity: Frustrated parents and frustrated kids forced to be in the same room (otherwise it wouldn't count as "family time" or a "family gathering," and Mom and Dad absolutely insist on at least twenty minutes of this every day, no excuses) desperately trying to avoid actually talking to each other (because that's not required during family time) despite the fact that their lame internet is soooo slow and they can't all stream their favorite crap at once. If this keeps up, they might actually have to put the electronics down and god knows where that would lead to- board games? Story-telling? Actual human interaction? Horrors.
Family Gathering, After Xfinity: Everyone has lightning-fast streaming on their very own internet-connected device and Family Time is Fun Time again because it's just like Non-Family Time, except instead of being in seperate rooms they are All Together in the same room, like good families should. Heck, I bet this contributes to even more Family Time, as long as Family Time continues to mean Everyone Is In The Same Room.
Awesome or not, I'm glad the future is for other people. I don't want to live there.