Sunday, September 27, 2015

Another "Old People And Their Silly Problems Sure Are Silly" Commercial


(pause, deep breath)


Full Disclosure;  My dad uses a cane.  Well, sort of- actually, he OWNS a cane which he would use more often, if he and it were ever in the same place at the same time.  But that's rarely the case- usually the cane is in the car while he's in the living room, or it's hanging on a chair in the kitchen while he's in the computer room on the other side of the house.  Sometimes it's on the tractor.  Sometimes it's hanging on a shopping cart at the store he visited earlier that day.

And his cane isn't small.  It's a full cane, which means it's more than just a handle.  So though it's always getting lost, it's also always being found.  I love the "fits easily in the glove compartment" line-- yes, of course it does.  Doesn't mean it's ever actually going to be put there.  Much more likely it's going to end up on the floor, where Gimpy Gus can't find it or reach it.

"Mom, why aren't you using that Amazing Not-Cane I got you?"  "Oh, I don't know where it is.  It's somewhere.  Maybe you could look for it if you get a chance, but it's no hurry, really."

If it was just a handle, I think it would be used once and then never seen again.  If you buy this thing for the old person in your life, better buy about a hundred of them- or put one of those tile things on it so you can use your phone to find it every fifteen minutes or so.  And I do mean YOUR phone, because your parents aren't using SmartPhones and have no idea what Apps are.

Of course, I'm being optimistic when I predict that the Amazing Cane Handle will just get lost all the time.  It's more likely it will used again and again and again, each time doing terrific damage to your parent's car as it's left in the door while it's being slammed-- again and again and again. Accompanied by loud curses.  Every single time.

BTW, if you can stand on the cane while it's attached to your car, why on Earth do you need to use one?  Seems to me that's pretty darned agile.  I don't get it.


  1. You have good points.

    My dad uses a cane too. But lately my dad is being a bit of an ass, so it's hard to sympathize.

    Still, given that the number of years before I officially become Old continues to shrink rather than extend, I am hesitant to knock anything that might help somebody. I do agree, though, that it's probably likely to get lost a lot or to get car doors slammed on it by accident.

    It all has the effect of making me think about how tempting it is, even for me, to use shopping carts as "walkers" and just lean on mine when I'm beat and still have to shop. And for old people this can be an utter necessity. My good deed for today was pausing before walking into a drugstore when an elderly woman in handicapped parking asked me if I could get her a cart from inside the store. I did. She had a cane, and it was pretty obvious she's at the point where the shopping cart literally keeps her upright in a store.

    I hope it never gets that bad for me, but damn, I'm already finding it tempting. It's probably inevitable.

    1. Last summer I saw a woman in a wheelchair struggling to get up a steep incline in a parking lot- I ended up wheeling her to the convenience store she was trying to get to. I worry about being in that situation; I think I would be more frustrated and angry than I am already most of the time ;>/...and I would never snark on old people in "real life"- just this blog. There with the grace of god go I, eventually.

  2. Oh man. lol-ing to the point of tears reading this.