Friday, September 23, 2016
Deserts, Farms and Mountains not included, you jackass posers
Nobody is using this thing to tear through mountain streams, and I sure as hell hope that no one is using it to drive through someone's farmland (though if someone tries it, I hope the owner of that farmland has a shotgun and good aim.) This car is for hauling around soccer teams and groceries. Call it a Jeep Cherokee in a lame attempt to make some claim to being adventurous if you want, but this is just another Suburban Blandmobile, and the biggest test of it's "seamless transition to changes in terrain" is going to come when you reach the next speed bump, just before you drop your kids off at middle school.
Sorry, losers. This car isn't going to give you your youth back. Just thought I'd try to save you forty grand. No thanks necessary.