Saturday, September 24, 2016

Rule #1- everyone who owns one of these things is a total douchenozzle

Rule # 2- if you own a Jaguar, feel free to drive fifty MPH in a f--ng parking garage.  Because it's not like anyone else exists.

Rule # 3- also if you own a Jaguar, you are permitted to drive as fast as you want on ANY road, and to f--k turn signals, those are for total non-Jaguar owners, also known as Losers.

Rule # 91 (according to this British chick)-- "always maintain eye contact, in spite of the distractions. F--k other cars on the road, f--k pedestrians, you own the whole road and if anyone gets in the way, just run them over with your Superior car.

Bottom line and a quick summary of the Jaguar Rulebook- Just do whatever you want in your car, because it's your world, we are just crawling around like ants in it.


  1. OK, this ad employs one of the Cliches I Hate Most in Advertising: The Long Numbered List of Things that the Ad Always Cites Out of Order, Randomly. In this case it's supposed to be a list of "rules." In other ads, it's a list of "100 reasons to buy our product" or "1,001 uses for our product" or whatever. It doesn't matter. Inevitably there will be a recitation of these rules or reasons or uses or whatever, and each one will be numbered, and the numbers will be entirely random and out of order.
    "Rule #35..."
    "Reason #72..."
    "Use #64..."
    It is oh, so uncreative, tired and boring.