Saturday, February 4, 2017
Bud Light Presents: Spuds Mackenzie, and another illustration of why I mute the Superbowl Commercials
In this truly reprehensible take on A Christmas Carol, an ugly young man who decides that he's just going to stay home and not spend yet another night drinking cheap, crappy watered-down beer with his loser friends is shown the error of his ways by the ghost of a done-to-death advertising campaign from the 1980s.
After admitting that he "has no excuse" for why he doesn't feel like yakking it up with the dumbass clueless idiots who try to fill every free moment of their lives with pointless blather and alcohol, the ghost of Spuds Mackenzie (remember him? Me too. Miss him? Me neither) dangles before him and takes him on a journey of discovery in which it's revealed that while he has been hanging out at home, his friends have been busy being stupid at bars and bad neighbors in the suburbs. If only he had made better choices, he could have been there when the illiterate morons he used to hang with couldn't finish a common phrase to win a trivia contest! If only he had not blown off that party at his Nameless Friend's house, they wouldn't have run out of Bud Light, causing Rudy to fail to score with Suzy. Or causing Suzy to make it home safely instead of driving her Kia into that van of kids trying to get home from the movies. He could at LEAST joined in the fun when Bob got into that fight with the police officer who came to issue the noise complaint. Or something.
At no point is it even suggested that this guy's friends really care one whit whether he's there or not, by the way. They seem to be having a great time without him- probably because, despite the ad's tagline, it really is all about the beer, not the friendship. We don't see them mourning his absence. Nobody offers a toast to him and wonders why he became such a weirdo who wants to do something other than hang out and drink even when he doesn't have an "excuse." They are just One Idiot Short, and that seems to be just fine with them.
Anyway, thanks to the dangling spirit of the Bud Light mascot, our Hero realizes what a terrible mistake he's been making whenever he's decided that he just doesn't feel like spending another evening drinking garbage with his drooling idiot friends. So from now on he'll be there, and those friends will notice because he has the trivia answer and he brought another case of Bud Light-- and that's about it. Pretty sad.