Sunday, February 12, 2017
Oh and BTW, what's "Atomic" about the Atomic Lantern?
Notice how so many of these late-night Only Available on TV products are sold as "military grade" by scruffy guys with tough voices who I'm pretty sure are all trying to convince us that they are veterans of Operation Desert Storm and not serial killers? The guy in this ad "needs" a tough "lantern" (i.e. flashlight) because he has this habit of tossing them into the back of his pickup truck and driving for several seconds through rough terrain before stopping and using it again. Jeesh, why not just leave it in the front seat with you, moron?
Anyway, this "lantern"- which is just four sets of LED lights made in China- is available for $19.99 with free shipping, and if that isn't good enough to get you rushing to your phone, you can get a seconed one "for just an extra fee." I really hope that the "extra fee" is another $19.99, because that would be hilarious- "you can get a SECOND Atomic Lantern for just double the price of one! WOW!"
Anyway, the weird psychopath who likes to toss it into the back of his otherwise-practically-empty pickup before driving another twenty yards really likes it, plus you can encase it in ice or blind the fish in your aquarium with it, so I guess that's pretty cool. Except I found another guy on Youtube who tells me that the only difference between this Atomic Lantern and the electric lanterns you can buy at Big Lots for $5 is that the Atomic Lantern is black and the ones at Big Lots are orange. Hmm.