Sunday, October 6, 2019

Questions for the fans of Buffalo Wild Wings, etc.

1.  If you can't deprive yourself of football for one day a year to attend a friend's wedding, send the invite back with the "NO" box checked and send a gift.  Don't show up, eat the food, and sit at a table staring at your phone during the festivities like the self-absorbed douchenozzle you know you are.  Just stay home with your football game.  Everyone else will have a great time without you.  Hell, they'll have a BETTER time without you.

2.  If you go to Buffalo Wild Wings, please don't act like the guys in this commercial who act as if they are afraid that if they actually eat the wings instead of attacking them, the taste might catch up and they'll realize they aren't eating actual Buffalo Wings like the kind you can get at actual sports bars from Buffalo to Pittsburgh but rather bland, mass-produced chicken that's just fine if you want lots of finger food during a football game but nowhere near good enough if you've experienced the real thing.

3.  If you work for the ad agency that makes these commercials, please ask yourself why you think that potential customers need to be yelled at in every. Single. Buffalo Wild Wings Ad.  Because we don't.  People who enjoy the prospect of sitting in the Olive Garden of Sports Bars for three hours watching The Game (any game) on a big screen tv while eating barely-seasoned chicken and guzzling down pitchers of equally bland brand-name beer don't require this level of angry hype, and people who have taste won't respond to it anyway, so why not just skip it already?

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