These things already contain fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, potatoes, and gravy. Make the bowl a little larger and KFC could add gummy bears, cigarettes, whiskey, and a gambling app and make this the perfect Grab and Go for people in a hurry to destroy their lives.
"Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl." I wish I had thought of that. And yes, 2 AM in your own apartment is the only proper time and place to consume this Most American Meal Ever.
I've kept a portable air compressor in the trunk of my car for well over a decade. I got my niece one for her car. We've used them to fill tires, basketballs, footballs, floatation devices- anything that needs air.
Which is why the people in these ads absolutely astonish me. They come off as skeptical that such a device is possible without slight of hand or magic and in the real world it must be a scam of some kind. A portable air compressor that you charge at home every once in a while and then keep in your car to deal with low tire situations?* What's next, a mini version of a vacuum for your car? A mounting device for a cell phone on the dashboard? What kind of bizarre Utopia are we living in these days?
Seriously, though. I don't know if this thing works well- the reviews on YouTube are not promising- but you can buy them off the shelf at your local Home Depot or (probably) Walmart. This is not new if you haven't been living under a rock for the past many, many years. Why are these idiots acting as if they are watching a wizard at work?
*I do object to the depiction of a completely flat tire; if it has a puncture, all the compressed air in the world isn't going to help you for what I hope are obvious reasons. For that you'll need another Very Available, Very Portable product called a Fix-a-Flat- though personally I'd rather just call AAA and have them switch it out with my spare.**
**actual spare, not the worthless donut the insultingly cheap dealerships stick you with these days. $25,000 on average for a base-model new car and they can't include an actual extra tire....but that's a rant for another time.
I'm so disturbed that there's even something called the Mobile Game Industry...
Turns out that these ubiquitous "free" games (actually the same game tweaked and relabeled to con the losers who fall down these time-and-money-wasting tunnels to nowhere) are all about dopamine hits mixed with just enough frustration to convince users to purchase upgrades and just enough advertisement to make it profitable even if 100 percent of the people who download don't become absolutely obsessed with this life-draining nonsense.
Never mind Jimmy Kimmel, who like Shakira and Lebron just ask "how high" when told by their corporate masters to jump as long as those masters are waving fistfuls of money they don't really need and don't know what to do with in their faces. Let's note every commercial that does not include an actual celebrity- they all show seemingly normal people doing normal things (preparing meals in the kitchen, having a backyard barbecue, etc.) being fascinated by what looks to a Boomer like me to be Candy Crush with Royalty. And effortlessly recruiting their spouses and friends to join in the "fun" by offering a mere glance at their phones.
How empty are their lives that this looks absolutely irresistible after three seconds? I'd be asking when it became perfectly normal to do everything with one hand and fifty percent of your brain tied behind your back. Maybe I should have mentioned that all the people shown engaged in this junk are legal adults. Legal adults who if they are so easily sucked into investing time and money into this bleak empty garbage are almost certainly also going down the road of economic destruction through equally "fun" gambling apps as well.
Can we bring actual hobbies back? How about actual quality time with fellow humans? Time not spent staring at a screen and engaging in "activities" that suck money out of our wallets for a few moments of - well, I don't even know. Why is this fun again?
1. Apparently it's not about raising money for a good cause. It's a major competition that only one of these very competitive little girls can win, and both are determined to be the Champion Number One Whatever. The cookies are just the means by which a Champion can be Crowned.
2. The moment we gained access to digital payment options, handling actual currency became incredibly awkward, virtually impossible. Because I grew up handling cash and I can't remember it being this big a deal to transfer paper from one hand to another or even to (gasp) make change.
3. Yeah, digital payments are totally flawless and would never accidentally duplicate themselves. I don't know why every transaction isn't a worry-free tap of a phone, those NEVER go wrong.
4. You roll your eyes at me while I'm trying to help your cause, and I'm cancelling the sale and keeping my money. This little girl does it TWICE. What a great representative of her generation. Goodbye, little girl. I can buy cookies from anyone, including at the store, with cash, without the condescending, triggered annoyed looks. I'm sooooo sorry it's taking more than thirty seconds to finish this transaction, but please avoid this "problem" by skipping my house next year.
If Christmas is the Hallmark Channel's Superbowl, then the Superbowl is Advertising's Christmas. Somehow, the ads for the big game have become as big a story- maybe even a bigger story- than the sporting event it sponsors. NFL Network even has a "Best Superbowl Ads Ever" show.
Personally, I think the absolute worst thing about attending game parties is being unable to escape the ads and the inevitable conversations created by the ads. As the years have moved along, I've noticed that more and more the casual chitchat is reserved for the time the players are on the field and is halted during the commercials. I guess it was inevitable that a mere football game being played between two teams not supported by at least 90 percent of viewers would take a back seat to advertisements (not to mention an only slightly truncated concert tucked in between the 2nd and 3rd quarters.)
As it turns out, I won't be attending a Superbowl party for the first time since the Plague of 2020/21, which means I'll be watching with a remote in my hand ready to hit MUTE when the actual game is not on the screen. Hey, I'm a curmudgeon, remember?
Oh, I guess I should say a few things about this ad for everyone's favorite pile of junk, Jeep. Well, let's see...the premise is that we've got a little kid obsessed with silly purchase made by his father when dad was hung over and watching late-night TV back in the 80s (maybe it was grandpa?) The little kid's mom is pregnant for no reason (unless something else happens in the final ten seconds involving her, I don't know, I stopped watching after "I can see my wires" because by then it had crossed the line into Beaten To Death Joke and I was done.) We know for sure she's pregnant because she's got her arm resting on her stomach like All Pregnant Women in TV ads do.
For some reason the kid really, really wants to take an obvious piece of plastic to the river, and for some reason dad is willing to drive the kid and the stupid piece of plastic what seems like many, many miles to find a suitable river to put it in. All of this is in service of driving the family's much, much bigger dumb purchase, with it's panoramic sunroof and apparent ability to hit a pothole and get wet without needing servicing (is Jeep upping it's game?)
The kid puts the piece of plastic in the river and I guess it's a Magic Fish but not the good kind that grants wishes, just the kind that is grateful for five seconds and then accusatory when it finds out that freedom is not all it's cracked up to be. I have no idea why that bear continues to eat the fish when it's clear it's plastic. I have no idea why this stupid plastic fish has so many wires. I have no idea why the dad is trying to defend himself to it. It's a plastic fish that doesn't even grant wishes.
All I see here is the overindulgence of a creepy little boy who needs therapy and friends by a father who thinks that there's something environmentally sane about driving a brand-new piece of garbage to a remote area to toss a fifty-year old piece of garbage into a river.
What am I missing? Oh, don't bother- I'm sure I'll be told in the breakroom, or by several of my classes, tomorrow.
This one is uniquely nasty because we see a short-sleeved chef scratching his nasty dry itchy skin while preparing food- I mean, yuck. Where's the damn health inspector when you need her?
But the others all have one annoying thing in common- they all feature people who seem to have been given exciting, active lives, complete with expensive hobbies and holidays to exotic places, along with their Rinvoq prescriptions. If I get an Rx for this stuff will it come with a first-class ticket to a warm beach somewhere? Are the cool friends included or is that only with the Gold Plan on the health care network?
...but nothing about watching flabby future diabetes patients wax poetic about their love of the variety of bland starch available at your "restaurant"- pizza, cinnamon "bites," bread "buttons," etc.- makes me hungry for America's Favorite Carbohydrate Delivery System.
These people need Domino's like they need more screen time. They'd be far better off with a balanced diet and an exercise program- hey, THAT sounds like a "perfect combo" to me, but where's the money in that, right?
Turn heads! Get attention! Pay through the nose for endless repairs!
It's the return of the ICONIC JCW Mini-Cooper, the little car that allows you to "rule the road" between your house and the garage run by a mechanic you will definitely be on a first-name basis with!
Seriously- this is just so silly. The gimmick for these cars seems to be their impracticality; yes, what sane people see as a glitch is actually a feature. This car is ridiculously expensive for what you get, infamous in its unreliability, uncomfortable for anyone over 5'8" or so, etc. It's an uncomfortable money pit that screams "look how rich I am; I can even blow money on this. How much money? Actual big car money- like, $40,000- what you losers pay for cars with four doors and enough room for more than a bag of groceries in the back."
This is a mini compact car, almost a FIAT. Even a Mitsubishi Mirage had four doors, for chrissakes, and it's actually possible to drive a Mitsubishi more than a few hundred miles without paying out the nose for upkeep. What people will do to show they don't care about money. Unbelievable.
There's something almost adorable about KIA's attempt to sell it's latest pile of unreliable junk as a symbol of luxury, isn't there?
I'm trying to imagine any rich couple with the means of buying a luxury SUV actually choosing a KIA over the other options- Lexus, Audi, BMW- none of which are worth anything close to their price tags either but at least come with those popular logos. This thing has a base price of just under 40k with the model being shown on screen running closer to 60k. Why would anyone with that kind of money use it to buy a KIA?
The answer is, of course, that they would not. KIA wants to be in the Big Boys Club with the brands mentioned above- brands that get sales from stupid rich people because of the logo (it can't be because of reliability because there isn't any, not for ANY of these luxury brands. It can't be because they hold their value because they simply do NOT.) In this, KIA is exactly like Buick and is trying to achieve its goal in exactly the same way Buick is- with glossy paint and bells and whistles that have nothing to do with the simple ability to get from Point A to Point B and everything to do with turning the heads of people you don't know and who simply don't care. Sad.
Every once in a while, my little great-niece/goddaughter announces that she is going to put on a "show" and then proceeds to sing and dance and throw herself around the living room, stopping to give us time to applaud.
The little girl in this ad knows that she's in a family of inattentive television addicts who are so desperate for entertainment that they are watching figure skating, of all things. So if she wants an audience, she'd better go upstairs (or the basement, I'm not watching this again) and set up the 2000 or so stuffed animals she's been given by parents who think that material goods are a great substitute for actual Attention.
It turns out that this girl has adapted so well to being ignored by her alleged family that she's perfectly fine dancing in front of her toys instead of actual human beings, and has even convinced herself that they appreciate and love her- unlike those older people downstairs staring total strangers on the boob tube (who are engaged in figure skating. Again- figure skating. Not even the bobsled or luge or Alpine skiing. Not even short track skiing. Figure skating. Hell, it may even be Artistic Pairs or Ice Dance, though I am not willing to go that far because I don't want to slander these people.
But as I said- in my family, if my little great-niece saw this on tv and wanted to imitate it, she wouldn't retreat to a quiet part of the house to "skate" in front of stuffed animals. She'd do it in front of us, and she'd have our attention, because I like to think we aren't all disgusting distracted zombies so detached from our own lives that we'd rather watch...whatever the hell this event is that should end right now so we can get back to actual competitive, entertaining Olympic events like skiing and bobsled, as God Intended.
Actual message of this ad: "Don't worry about how much money you're losing, just keep gambling. There will be plenty of time to pick up the shattered pieces of your financial situation later. Only a loser keeps an eye on the wins and losses during the game. You don't want to be a loser, do you? Next thing you know, you'll be telling us you want to stop drinking just because you're drunk!"
When in the depths of destructive addiction, it is NOT the time to consider the damage that addiction is doing to your life. What would the people around you say if you stopped gambling? They'd probably call you a wimp. They certainly wouldn't respect you because you're acting like a Debby Downer instead of Sticking to the Plan, the Plan being- keep risking that paycheck for that dopamine hit because let's face it, watching sports is simply no fun unless you can bet on it.
The important thing is to JUST KEEP GAMBLING. You never count your losses when you're sittin' at the bar stool. There'll be time enough for countin' when the money's gone.
In this ad, Jacopo is doubling down- not happy with feeding an addiction to alcohol, he's going to push his patrons into satisfying their sad addiction to gambling as well. May I ask why? How does his bar benefit if people gamble while they drink and watch football? Oh, maybe it keeps them glued to the set longer, which means they consume more alcohol?
Meanwhile, definitely see no problem with the promoted combination of drinking and gambling. Yeah, those are two things that go GREAT together, like drinking and driving almost. For shame, Jacopo!
First, you've got the two twentysomethings who look like they are absolutely thrilled to be overworked, underpaid minions of a multi-billion-dollar company like it's freaking Microsoft back in the days when they had all those goofy extras at HQ. Just, no. There's no way Dominoes employees are anywhere close to this excited about simply working at Dominoes- but these clowns are promoting the crap out of the place like they are shareholders or something.
Second, yes- because I am who I am- I just have to address the, err, elephant in the room. The woman ordering Dominoes doesn't look like she has to be talked into treating herself. Perhaps the actual goal is to ruin her appetite? That would be a nice twist ending for this stupid dreck. Certainly better than the flat "can I please have my pizza" from a woman who kind of obviously came in to buy a pizza WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TALK HER INTO BUYING A PIZZA YOU STUPID KNOBS?
1. Why did the people in this vehicle leave it to the driver to remember all of their orders? Why aren't they just giving them individually?
2. Given this guy's inability to articulate a full sentence, I'm not sure I would ride with him because I'm not sure I'd trust his ability to operate heavy machinery.
3. Anyone else think that the switch is all about getting a multimillionaire to pick up the whole tab?
And finally- to what I'm sure is a very nice guy in the comment section....please, if you are "on the floor" as a result of this commercial...well, I really hope that the next Administration takes the treatment of mental illness much more seriously. Good luck getting through the next three years, buddy.
There's nothing this overexposed hack won't do for a few extra bucks to add to the pile, I guess...
You see, it's FUNNY because it's Eli Manning and he's supposed to be a NERD and we KNOW he's
supposed to be a NERD because he's wearing glasses and an ugly sweater and hanging out with fellow unattractive NERDS doing NERD LOSER THINGS like being in BOOK CLUBS and we all know that book clubs are only for LOSERS. Cool people aren't in book clubs because cool people don't READ, they watch FOOTBALL and eat sliders made with King Hawaiian rolls because they are COOL.
The only thing missing here is the old book club celebrating their graduation to COOLNESS by burning those books while WATCHING TV LIKE A REAL AMERICAN. That would "sure beat the book club" and put an apostrophe on this "lighthearted" assault on intellectualism courtesy of King Hawaiian Rolls.
When I first heard the radio ad for this film, I thought it was an SNL skit: "Jason Statham plays an ex-agent forced out of retirement to protect his little girl..."
So....basically...Jason Statham plays Jason Statham in a Jason Statham film. Ex-agent forced out of retirement to protect an innocent person from bad guys? Can I assume he'll be beating up entire gangs of thugs with his bare hands, with at least a few slow-motion cuts, until finally confronting the Big Bad and killing (or, for a slight change of pace because he does do this sometimes) arresting him after beating him up too?
I mean, I get it: predictability can be very comforting. But man, it costs $25 these days to go to the movies, and they are usually available on some streaming service by the time you get back home with your unfinished bucket of corn (oh wait, I forgot the snacks; make that $50.) And speaking of buckets of corn....yeah, Jason Statham is technically an actor who clearly has a very lucrative career playing Jason Statham. But be honest, Statham fans- if I randomly popped one of his eighty films into a DVD player and started running it from twenty minutes in, could you name it with any level of confidence? I mean, with less than five guesses? I doubt it.
I don't want to knock anyone's hustle, but geeeeeesh. If you go to the theater with any doubt in your mind about how every single scene is going to play out, I kind of feel sorry for you. Actually, I think you're just in denial. Either way, enjoy the two servings of nutrition-free popcorn; the one in the bucket on your lap, and the one on the screen.
The radio version of this ad boasts of the "low franchise fee" of "only $20,000," adding the fatal words "you can put that on a credit card"- the tag line of every multi-level marketing "opportunity."
Let me explain something that you should already know if you really have the business skills to run a franchise: If your credit is so broken that you need to put a franchise fee on a credit card, you have no BUSINESS thinking that you can run a BUSINESS. The average interest rate for people with GOOD credit is 19.99%. You can't get a small business loan from your local bank or credit union but are ready to max out your credit card to start a business?
You think I'm going to trust you to sand my floors? I wouldn't even let you through the door. Once you're in, you'd probably refuse to leave until I agreed to join your Downline because Hey Selling Essential Oils to your Facebook Friends is a great way to generate Passive IncomeTM.
"Well, at Verizon you can bring in any bill..." stop right there with Non-sequitur theater, Karen. This isn't Verizon. Does it look like Verizon?
You can put that tv down now, buddy. It's not your burden to carry. Put it down and tell this idiot woman to leave the store and take her ancient heavy junk with her. Does this place LOOK like a Goodwill or recycling center?
"Not as cool as Verizon!" I bet he can live with that, as long as you say it while you leave and add that you're so put out that you'll never come back.
What the hell? This woman is leaving the minimum wage worker holding her heavy television as she leaves? Call the police. I think I've already implied that this is NOT a Goodwill or a recycling center. This is NOT WHERE YOU GET TO DUMP YOUR OLD ELECTRONICS, KAREN.
And after you call the police, call the local mental facility. I'm pretty sure that if they do a head count, they'll notice that one of their long-term residents is missing. Along with her television set.
First of all, there's zero relatable about a couple in their- what, late 20s?- thinking about things like Safaris and purchasing ranches in Montana. With horses.
Second, these people come off as almost unbearably superficial and casual about money. The guy is daydreaming about going on a Safari and even asks the JP Morgan guy if they can afford one. The JP Morgan guy says sure, it will just take some planning- but is practically interrupted by another thought: wait, no- how about if they want to purchase a ranch in Montana? With horses?
The JP Morgan guy, who if he's human is completely nauseated by the entitlement oozing out of these people by now, suggests that ok, we can look at "both those scenarios." If I were him, I'd wait a few minutes for one of them to suggest that what they really want to do is go on a year-long cruise or maybe take a ride with Space X. That's the level of maturity I'm hearing here.
Oh but wait, one of them mentions that maybe they'd like to start a family- a baby. Or babies. No, just one baby. Which tells me that these twats haven't spent more than a few minutes talking about their future in the past two years, assuming that they've even been together for two years. Safaris, ranches in Montana, maybe a baby or maybe two or maybe not...ugh, all these jagoffs have is money.
And since the title of the ad is "Honeymoon," it's fair to assume that they just got married. So they are having conversations about the future that people with two brain cells each usually have BEFORE the ceremony. Better late than never, I guess- but personally, I'm not in favor of children getting married in the first place. And let's face it- I don't care what the birthdates on the IDs say. These people are children. Rich children, but children. And one of the options they are considering is....spreading the dumb to the next generation.
This one will always hold a very special place in my heart, because happening upon it on YouTube back in late 2008 helped convince me to start this blog in the first place.
Thirty-five years later, I think it's safe to conclude that this insane woman is living in an Assisted Living Home and is never, ever visited by her children, who can't forget that Christmas where mom gave them all appointments to get their eyes checked instead of actual presents, and how they all "got to" pick out cheap ugly frames from the discount bin at America's favorite discount vision center. Almost as special as that day when Child Protective Services showed up and told mom that no, she could NOT wait until birthdays came around to surprise her kids with maintenance of their vaccine schedule. RFKjr was not yet in charge of that stuff, unfortunately for her.
So mom "went away" a while back and the kids have moved on, trying hard to keep her name out of the Thanksgiving Day conversations (Thanksgiving was always the day mom gifted them with an entire years' supply of vitamins, so it's always a bit touchy) and steering well clear of that Home We Put Her In Though She Doesn't Deserve Even That Much Consideration, the Crazy Nutter.
Why is this commercial so depressing? Let us count the ways:
1. It's stunningly overproduced. Think of how much time and expense and talent went into making this thing, and all of the actual beneficial things that could have been produced for society with even one-tenth of that effort. Instead we get...this.
2. Cher orders a time machine using Uber Eats? I don't get the joke. Is it that you can order almost anything with Uber Eats? If so, why is it called Uber Eats? Or is it that the Uber Eats app read Cher's order for thyme as an order for "time?" How thin can you stretch a premise before it snaps back and hits you in the face (more about faces in a moment?) Who orders thyme from Uber Eats? What the actual hell?
3. Uber Eats, Doordash, etc. are all horrible companies that do immeasurable damage to the environment while paying their employees as uninsured independent contractors. Why is Cher, who has a reputation as a prominent social liberal, promoting an exploitive company whose business model depends on gig workers and produces ungodly amounts of pollution?
4. Yes, I get the gag is the reference to "If I Could Turn Back Time." I don't care. The juice is not worth the squeeze. This is a six year old telling the same joke to everyone at the party multiple times.
5. No, Cher, you can't turn back time, no matter how often you get your face frozen with injections of Botox. Seriously, the creepiest and saddest thing about this ad is how expressionless your face is. Are you even CAPABLE of showing emotion anymore, or are those muscles permanently locked in place? Sonny Bono's face shows more range in his facial expressions and he's been dead for three decades.
I watch this ad and the only thought that comes to mind is "when on Earth did everyone in the United States become a shameless exhibitionist convinced that every other person in the United States was interested in their reaction to everything?"
In other words, did we just wake up one day and decide that whatever we were doing, whatever we were watching, whatever we were taking in at that moment needed to be captured on video and shared with the planet? And how did we convince others to go along with this intense level of narcissism? I mean, take a look at this ad- a lot of these videos are not individual efforts. Someone had to point the phone and watch the subject as he watched tv, or ran into another room, or did....something. Anything.
Why? What compels people to do this? Why is this interesting or entertaining to anyone?
Meanwhile- Chic-fil-e is good food. Too bad they are closed on Sundays, since my most common travel days are Sundays and Chic-fil-e exists on the Jersey Turnpike. Also too bad they are run by horrible sexist retrograde fundamentalist loons but again, it's good food.
So these three people are on a trip somewhere but a freak hailstorm results in a cracked windshield and shelter sought in a sleepy sports bar. Because they are driving one of those fancy new cars that won't operate if a windshield is cracked, they part about thirty yards from the sports car instead of in one of the many parking spaces near the front door and needlessly get drenched running inside.
They notice that a football game is being broadcast on the bar's television and instead of acting like sane people and calling AAA or SafeLite to arrange for the repair on their car, they instantly pulled out their phones, pulled up the BET MGM app and "put together a live parlay" because of course they did. Calling for assistance, having a drink at the bar, just having a conversation and enjoying the game- none of these even occurred to them, at least not until the opportunity to gamble on a whim was seized. I mean, look at them- they aren't even dried off. They haven even seated themselves. Priorities, people.
What a wonderful modern world we live in, where a quick, unplanned stop-over at a local bar turns into a chance to indulge in addictive behavior and the whole thing is sold to us as Fun because Capitalism Uber Alles in this awful, awful country. The fun punchline would be that by the time the repair guys do show up to fix the crack in the windshield, the owner's ability to make payments has been compromised by the "fun" had with the spontaneous decision to bet on a game because it's on a tv screen and it's possible to bet on it. Gross.
If the comments aren't just bots, I have to accept the idea that many, many people not only find Kevin Hart funny but also find it funny that Kevin Hart and LeBron James, two multi-millionaires, enjoy hanging out with each other and celebrating the joys of online gambling especially when they can get five dollars of free money to massage that burgeoning addiction with.
So I'm just going to say that the comments are bots. I'm also going to say that Kevin Hart's career is some kind of twisted joke being played on a worldwide audience. I will sleep better this way.
The only possible happy ending* for this ad is that the guy drones on so long about insurance that he forgets to pull the ripcord and he and the stupid CGI emu are just a flat damp spot in the parking lot. Leaving the fans to continue to enjoy the game without being interrupted by a g-d damn commercial they could have stayed home to watch on their televisions and leaving absolutely nothing of value lost.
And no, I am not even going to mention the comment section this time. The people who enjoy this played-to-death schlock....well, they vote. Obviously.
(By the way, the most famous guy to ever actually parachute into a sporting event ended up being pulled into the crowd and nearly beaten to death before being rescued by police officers. Remember? It was during the Riddick Bowe-Evander Holyfield rematch back in 1993. That could happen and count as a happy ending to this ad, too.)
The couple in this ad used to have a cool tradition- they'd get together and have a game night, playing simple board games while probably having nice conversations, basically using the game as nothing more than the foundation for the evening, the prop that makes the evening happen.
But one day the guy got severely addicted to an expensive, gambling-adjacent, brain cell-destroying smart phone game and decided that playing that game was all that mattered- so much so that none of the board games he and the girl used to play are not only unnecessary, but actually offensive to his eyes and must cease to contaminate Game Night.
After all, Royal Kingdom is sponsored by all the usual suspects- LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Jimmy Fallon- who have no other incentive other than to pitch us another way to lose our money. So it MUST be fun and certainly a better investment in time than silly board games and the conversations they encourage.
In real life, it would be nice to believe that the girl is deeply offended and saddened at the idea of replacing board game night with the two of them sitting in separate chairs staring at their individual phones playing another stupid game that literally vacuums money out of their pockets as they "progress." She might as what the point of him even coming over to her house if they aren't going to interact in any way beyond her answering the door and letting him in (oh wait, she doesn't even have to do that.) Because it's 2025, she's hooked after three seconds of looking at a screen because oh look it's got blinking lights so it's Uber Entertaining. Man I'm glad I'm old.
And on this sad note, we begin 2025. I am not optimistic.
