Sunday, May 2, 2010

Get your free sample off the coast of Louisiana, any day now!

Oh, ,what joy! A group of fun-loving cartoon infants rolling down the road, heading for who-knows-where to do who-knows-what, rejecting Brand X gas along the way despite the fact that the needle is rapidly approaching "E." (Not only rejecting, but rejecting with rank disdain- I believe that one of the cartoon babies actually holds it's nose at the idea of filling the tank with Not-BP Gasoline.)

Finally, our animated toddlers have discovered a BP station ("Say Hey!") and can continue their odyssey knowing that their gas tank is filled with Only The Best. Off they go, into the Pale Green Yonder.

From this commercial, let a million parodies bloom. Where are these kids going? I sure hope it's not the Gulf of Mexico, where their "We love BP" song may not go over so well among the larger population of car-driving children who have already stopped singing to note the economic disaster which has washed ashore on once-pristine beaches. No smiling fish, shrimp, crabs, oysters or seagulls here! And I doubt that green would be the prominent color, either, except of course in the thought-bubbles of BP execs, who decided that a $500,000 shut-off valve was an unnecessary expense for a company that made more than $4 billion in profits last quarter.

So please, all you wonderful, computer-savvy artists out there- let's see your best efforts snarking all over this commercial, which sure seems to be trying to sell us on the idea that the way to joyful times and endless fun is gasoline courtesy of British Petroleum. (Tell it to the waterfowl, assholes.) I'll be watching YouTube in hopeful anticipation, and will embed my favorite videos right here. Don't let me down!

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