Saturday, May 15, 2010

Have you Driven a Ford Lately? Well, now you have no choice!

Pardon the pun, but haven't ad agencies gotten enough mileage out of the lame "swap" theme already? We've seen decent coffee swapped for Folger's Crystals without complaint (oh PLEASE!! If you can't tell the difference between decent coffee and instant, get your taste buds swapped!,) Owen Wilson's brother swapping out cell phones, Italian Restaurant-goers being fed Domino's pasta and liking it (what a crappy restaurant, I mean come on!) And now we've got people losing their cars for a week and being forced to drive Fords. What did they do to deserve this? What did WE do?

Right off the bat, I really can't get past this guy's thumbs-hooked-to-his-belt, hilariously exaggerated "man pose" in the opening scene. What's the matter, couldn't figure out how to gut a fish or chop down a redwood while introducing Ford's latest ad idea?

Setting aside Mr Testosterone for a moment, let's examine this woman's reaction to being told that Ford has taken possession of her reliable Honda Civic and has left her to drive a brand-new Ford Focus for the next seven days. (This has been accomplished with the help of her "friends" and family-- kind of an Intervention for people who own cars of which we do not approve, I guess.) Well, she's quite thrilled at the idea. After all, it IS only seven days- and Fords are actually pretty reliable for periods well beyond a week. I've known people who have owned Fords which have provided excellent service for months before needing major work.

Of course, the gushing over the car is all about the pointless little gadgets Ford has thrown in to distract you from the fact that- well, it's a Ford. "My Civic doesn't have Bluetooth...." Um, no, it doesn't, unless of course you get it installed. It will, however, easily reach 200,000 miles with simple, regular maintenance, which means your Civic will be on the streets several years after this Ford Focus has rusted out, collapsed from within and been turned into a cube.

"I can say 'Destination,'...." Yes, and if you install a $100 GPS in your Honda (like I did on mine,) you can get directions with the push of a few buttons, too. True, you'll actually have to push buttons and you can't just command it to give you directions, like you can on this Ford Focus, but guess what? In a couple of years, all the yelling in the world won't make this shiny piece of trash move at all. Maybe you'll be yelling at it the very moment I drive past in your old Civic, which you foolishly traded in to buy this junk.

This commercial ends with Mr. Hooked Thumbs barking near-orders at Easily Seduced Woman, to which she responds with one-word affirmatives. She's sold. She wants a Ford Focus. Because it's shinier than her Honda Civic and it has these little gadgets. My guess is that she thinks Folger's Crystals makes awesome coffee and Domino's pasta should be sold out of Milanese Restaurants. All I know is, she's easily conned, and I'll be swinging by Ford to buy her old Civic.


  1. My husband's Crown Victoria is well past 200,000 miles and still going strong. My first car was a Ranger pickup, that I sold at 110,000 miles. We now drive a Mustang and and Escape. Anecdotal perhaps, but we have never had issues with our Fords and have been very happy with them. I don't think your attack on the quality of the Ford product is justified. (I agree with the annoyance of the commercials. My sister just bought a Subaru and I'm not trying to "rescue" her from it. I think those are good cars too.)

  2. I'm glad you've had good experiences with your cars, but there's a reason for the popularity of the term Found On Road Dead. The point is that customer satisfaction ratings and reliability studies for Fords have never come close to matching those of Honda Civics, and this woman is quickly sold on trading in her Honda for a Ford, which is, in my opinion, trading down.

  3. Oooops. Kindly delete the post I made stepping on the FORD thing.

  4. Man - "So I'm not going to even get an argument out of you"
    Woman - "No"...
    Man - ..."I love it when they agree"
    Woman - ..."No""Yeah."
    Man - "Look we all agree."

    I just love "conversation" at the very end.

  5. I think it's fair to assume that a discussion of Carl Sagan's origins of the Universe theory was out of the question for these two.