Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Whine of the put-upon Investor Class

"I thought investment firms were there to take my small contributions and convert them into mountains of money while I slept."

"If I had my way, Investment firms would take breaks from making me bucketloads of cash only to kiss my ass or shine my shoes."

"I don't see why I should be paying someone to take MY money and turn it into MORE money. I mean, what's that all about?"

"If I were Ruler of the Fucking Universe, Investment Firms would be knocking each other over for the chance to make me rich, not charging me just because it requires work do to this."

Anyone else sick to death of these whiny a-holes bitching because the investment firms THEY HIRED have the GALL to (gasp) CHARGE them for the work they do? I mean, I'm sure that these morons don't expect to get paid for the hours they spend doing whatever the hell it is they do to earn the investment money in the first place, right? Is it the 10% unemployment rate, and the fact that the average unemployed person in the US has been out of work for more than six months, that causes commercials featuring pampered Privileged Class assholes complaining about investment fees to drive me up the wall? Is it the very idea that I'm supposed to feel some level of affinity or sympathy for these idiots that sets me off?

If I had my way, when pricks like this smug little rodent walks into her boss's office to ask for a raise, she instead gets a speech about how much the CEO of his company wishes that employees would just work to make him money without expecting to be paid for their labor. "It seems to me that my employees could just work their asses off instead of constantly bothering me about things like salaries and working conditions."

"Investors Rule?" Is this the 21st century version of "The Customer is Always Right?" Isn't Schwab digging itself a nice little hole here- "we'll do it for you for next to nothing, really!"

Didn't Homer Simpson win an election as Garbage Commissioner with lines like this?


  1. I wish people like her wouldn't ask me what should be done about her bottom line, I really do; that's because I have answers to the ready that they probably wouldn't like. Answers that involve inserting something revolting in said bottom line. I really don't need to see some coupon-clipping idiot whine that she isn't profiting off human misery fast enough.

  2. You put it better than I did, Dreaded. The bottom line of people who "earn" money by shuffling it around electronically holds very interest to me. When I see people struggling to pay their mortgages as they enter their second or third years of unemployment or underemployment, the "plight" of people being "overcharged" on brokerage fees just doesn't seem to show up up on my radar. I guess I'm just insensitive.