Saturday, May 8, 2010

A great commercial for Birth Control

Oh, look at the adorable "picky eater." We know she's adorable because she speaks in a high-pitched sing-song voice and has pigtails (otherwise, we'd have no clue. Believe me.)

"We really need some broccoli" says mom out loud. Why she's speaking out loud, I don't know. Why she's speaking at all, I don't know. Because clearly, she really ought to be just asking the person in charge what she wants to eat.

"I don't like broccoli" announces the little monster. An "I've heard this before" look crosses Mommy's face, but the broccoli goes in the cart, and we move on.

"And....some chicken" says mom. (Maybe she's trying to build vocab skills for her spawn of Satan?)

"I don't like chicken" announces her daughter. Again, look of despair from Mommy. Kind of odd, because Mommy has the answer...

A six-pack of PediaSure comes off the shelf. Daughter responds with a really creepy "I see I've trained you well, monkey" look on her face- a look which is repeated later, as we see her sipping the white liquid as mom hovers nearby, apparently ready to take the nasty stuff away if her Precious Little One expresses the slightest displeasure at this most recent- but assuredly not first- attempt to appease the brat.

"I don't think I like waffles....." is the last line we get from this wretched little monster as her mother, no doubt cursing her own fertility, heads down the aisle again in yet another vain attempt to find some solid food her daughter will eat without bitching.

What a great message. If your 5-year old "won't" eat vegetables, meat, etc, no problem- just keep looking until you find some food they will "agree" to consume without causing disharmony in the home (which, as we all know from the example set by Veruca Salt's parents, is most important anyway.) Don't try different recipes to make veggies and poultry more attractive. Don't model good eating habits. Just cater. Who cares if the kid never learns to consume important vitamins and minerals naturally? There are pills for that.

And there are pills for mommy, too, when she finally cracks from spending every waking hour trying to appease this brat. Because I'm pretty damned sure this doesn't start and end with food- I'm sure Daughter doesn't like the radio station mommy listens to in the car, the wallpaper in the living room, the clothes she and mommy picked out yesterday, or the preschool's selection of playground equipment. What's your answer to that problem, PediaSure?


  1. What a great way to sell a product that should only be used in an emergency. Then again, we can expect no less from the people that bring us Vicodin.

  2. If her Little Precious One only wants Happy Meals and PediaSure, that's what Little Precious One will get.

  3. What Little Precious One needs is, of course, something different: a mother with a spine, not Deanna Gotdang Patterson.

  4. There is a lot of Mrs. Michael Patterson in this woman, that's for sure.

  5. Oh my goodness - this is a COMMERCIAL, folks. It's NOT REAL. lol Stop getting so upset over something so insignificant!

  6. Sparkle? Seriously? You have nothing better to do with your sad little life than to go out of your way to criticize someone's blog? And this is my fault how exactly?

    I think this is why the term "bite me" was created.

  7. And by the way, Sparkle!, unless you are under 18, or are a mentally ill person who laughs out loud for no discernable reason, deduct three points for using "lol." You said nothing worth laughing about, and I think you know it.

  8. John? Seriously? You have nothing better to do with your sad little life than go out of your way to criticize a silly commercial that is over two years old?

    And what I am laughing at isn't anything I said - I'm laughing at you lot for being so angst ridden about a commercial. It's quite funny.

    1. I agree. This person has serious mental issues. That little girl has to be the cutest and most adorable little girl on the planet. I bet this blog owner was an ugly kid, so they are just hating.

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  9. Ok, in my opinion, this commercial is supposed to mirror real life. Your opinion is different; fine. I saw it as "this kid is a brat," you thought that a kid who only wants to "eat" pediasure and a mom willing to let a toddler dictate her own diet was "cute and funny." Again, fine.

    The commercial annoyed me, so I commented on it- again, it seems to me, fine.

    Here's what I don't get- why you went out of your way to criticize me for posting on my OWN BLOG. I mean, jeesh- it's my blog. It's my time. And instead of just saying "I have a different opinion," you decided you'd go with "what's the matter with you, what a waste of time, gee get a life."

    And I'm the rude one here?

    Look, like pretty much every blogger, I write for exactly one person. Myself. If people like what I read, that's a bonus. But "why are you writing this" isn't constructive- it's just rude. You wouldn't ask a kid why he or she likes sports or keeps a diary. You wouldn't come out of the blue and offer an unsolicited opinion on someone else's personal preferences. At least, I hope you wouldn't.

    I just don't get people who go out of their way to ask a blogger "why don't you agree with me?" which is basically what you did. Like I said before, there are a LOT of bloggers and blogs out there. You will probably not like all of them. Seems to me that if you don't like a blog, you don't bookmark it, you don't go back to it. Last year, I rarely got any comments on any of my posts- and I couldn't care less. Because I was writing for me. Still am.

    Anyway, sorry if I got a little hot under the collar- I just don't get people who cross the street against traffic to yell "you didn't ask, but I don't agree with you, and I think this is stupid," which is basically what you did. Yes, I get a little defensive. Sorry about that.

  10. You put a lot of words in my mouth. I never said any of what you keep saying I said. My original post was not insulting. I laughed and said you should stop getting so mad over something so insignificant as a silly commercial. The fact that you put it in a blog and allowed comments makes me think you meant it for public reading and commenting - and thus a comment is solicited.

    Your post on the other hand talked of me having a "sad little life", said "bite me", and then your next right after that called me mentally ill. Where did what I say merit that?

    Further - as I keep saying - it's not real. If it was real, then I would be upset about a kid doing that, sure. If my kid did that, I'd be like, "Too bad. You're eating it anyway, kid." But this isn't meant to be taken as real at all. It's an intended exaggeration.

    You can write whatever you want on your blog. That's quite fine. I'd fight for your freedom to do that. But if you out it out for public consumption and comment - take what comes with that. Some people disagree, and what's wrong with that? You don't have to insult them and be all defensive about it.

    Kita Sparkles

  11. Sparkle,

    What you seem to not realize is that the ad men think that this is how things should play out; they honestly seem to believe that Miss Monster should be able to simper her way into swallowing down a product meant to be used for sick children who can't take nourishment any other way simply to avoid the inconvenience of chewing foods that have recognizable tastes and textures.