Saturday, May 8, 2010
A great commercial for Birth Control
Oh, look at the adorable "picky eater." We know she's adorable because she speaks in a high-pitched sing-song voice and has pigtails (otherwise, we'd have no clue. Believe me.)
"We really need some broccoli" says mom out loud. Why she's speaking out loud, I don't know. Why she's speaking at all, I don't know. Because clearly, she really ought to be just asking the person in charge what she wants to eat.
"I don't like broccoli" announces the little monster. An "I've heard this before" look crosses Mommy's face, but the broccoli goes in the cart, and we move on.
"And....some chicken" says mom. (Maybe she's trying to build vocab skills for her spawn of Satan?)
"I don't like chicken" announces her daughter. Again, look of despair from Mommy. Kind of odd, because Mommy has the answer...
A six-pack of PediaSure comes off the shelf. Daughter responds with a really creepy "I see I've trained you well, monkey" look on her face- a look which is repeated later, as we see her sipping the white liquid as mom hovers nearby, apparently ready to take the nasty stuff away if her Precious Little One expresses the slightest displeasure at this most recent- but assuredly not first- attempt to appease the brat.
"I don't think I like waffles....." is the last line we get from this wretched little monster as her mother, no doubt cursing her own fertility, heads down the aisle again in yet another vain attempt to find some solid food her daughter will eat without bitching.
What a great message. If your 5-year old "won't" eat vegetables, meat, etc, no problem- just keep looking until you find some food they will "agree" to consume without causing disharmony in the home (which, as we all know from the example set by Veruca Salt's parents, is most important anyway.) Don't try different recipes to make veggies and poultry more attractive. Don't model good eating habits. Just cater. Who cares if the kid never learns to consume important vitamins and minerals naturally? There are pills for that.
And there are pills for mommy, too, when she finally cracks from spending every waking hour trying to appease this brat. Because I'm pretty damned sure this doesn't start and end with food- I'm sure Daughter doesn't like the radio station mommy listens to in the car, the wallpaper in the living room, the clothes she and mommy picked out yesterday, or the preschool's selection of playground equipment. What's your answer to that problem, PediaSure?