Monday, February 14, 2011

eTrade- Not even trying anymore

The pathetic thing is, companies tend to save their BEST ads for the Super Bowl.

This commercial, which debuted during the Big Game, is a big, stupid pile of half-assed non-effort that doesn't even reach the usual levels of intelligence we've come to expect from our friends at Etrade. We have the baby again, with the same creepy blank eyes and deadpan boring-as-hell-get-to-the-funny summary of what Etrade does for it's customers. But the level of contempt the ad men have for their product, and especially for their viewers, reaches new heights here. The baby is constantly interrupted by- get this- a SNEEZING CAT!!

(Hi guys- John was suddenly taken ill, and he asked me to finish this blog post for him. I'm sure I know what he was gonna say, so I'll just pick up where he left off:

Oh, someone help me out here! My ribs are splitting!! I mean, I haven't been this out-of-control ROTFLMAO since the last Larry the Cable Guy monologue!! And just when I think I might be able to breathe and grab myself a tissue to wipe off the tears that have been streaming down my face....are you ready? The baby says....oh God, I can barely type this I'm shaking so hard with laughter...."I TOLD you to get a Flu Shot!!"

I don't know what happened at YOUR Super Bowl party, but this was the highlight of mine. Beer and chips got spat out. Backs got slapped. The punchline was repeated over and over again. The whole room got quiet whenever Fox took a break from that boring game between those two teams- who were they, again?- because we all hoped we'd see that OMIGOD SO FUNNY commercial again.

I think these commercials are just the best. I mean, come on- nobody really wants to hear about stocks, and trading is what you do with your fantasy football team. There are a lot of places where you can go make money or whatever that deal is all about. But when you need your fix of talking babies and sneezing cats (OMIGOD as soon as I finish this I'm watching it again!) Etrade is the only game in town!

I sure hope there's a farting monkey in the next Etrade commercial. And know what would be AWESOME? If Larry the Cable guy made an appearance. He could say something like "Get'er done!" That would Rock!)

--John Jamele's teen-aged intern

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