Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Starting of a Brand New Debt

"Blueprint." "Split." "Chase what matters."

"We've figured out that cute buzzwords and catchphrases have the awesome ability to cloud the mind, dull the senses, and convince you that there's something radically different about this particular credit card."

"Oh, and graphics that make you think that this credit card is as fun to use as your I-Phone."

I'll admit, I don't get what Chase is trying to sell here at ALL. As near as I can tell, this is what we are being told- if you buy a cup of coffee with your Chase Sapphire Card, you may choose to pay that debt off right away "to avoid interest." (Yes, because the last thing you want to be stuck with is 9% interest on a $1.70 cup of Joe from your favorite pretentious coffee stop.) But for BIG purchases- say, a piece of rock you plan to use to seal the deal with your girlfriend- you can choose to pay monthly.

Um, ok: How is this any different from EVERY OTHER CREDIT CARD OUT THERE? Back when I used to carry a balance, I DISTINCTLY remember having the option to pay it off all at once, or monthly. I could also calculate how many months it would take to pay off the balance, and I've never even HAD a Chase Sapphire Card with Split and Blueprint and bouncing graphics! How did I manage THAT?

I also love the "available only to Chase customers" line: In other words, the "benefits" of this card (and I still can't figure out what they are) are available only to card holders. Good to know, Chase.

Since I can't for the life of me figure out how pushing imaginary buttons on a credit card makes life any easier- or debt any more manageable- maybe I should just finish up by suggesting that this guy's love interest might want to rethink the idea of marrying a guy who uses a credit card to buy a freaking cup of coffee. Because the only really GOOD way to manage debt is to STAY OUT OF IT. And one simple step in the process is to pay cash for stuff like cups of coffee. It's amazing how low the interest rate is on purchases you make with cash; these morons should give it a try.

Meanwhile, one more time! "Split!" "Blueprint!" "Chase what Matters!" Ahh, gotta love the world of advertising. All about the buzz words, all the time.


  1. I haven't seen this little nugget till now. I did see one last night about an expectant couple who... and the kicker is- they pay off diapers and small things right away, but the BIG things... three cribs, three car seats...

    GET IT!!? THEY'RE HAVING TRIPLETS!! *knee-slap*

    And the dad! He faints!

    I roffled and lammoed!

    I totally didn't.

  2. Pahz- that commercial was my original target, but I just couldn't wrap my head around a way to translate my utter hatred for it into words. I have it saved in my bookmarks and I'm sure I'll get to it in the near future, but for now---from the smiling squatting toad of a woman thrilled to freaking death over waddling around a store buying diapers and car seats to the guy who apparently wasn't aware that his enormous wife was carrying triplets fainting (oh don't we just love that cliche?)....I just can't bring myself to do it.