Saturday, February 19, 2011

More fun from the Golden Feed Bin

For the second time in only eight days, I'm compelled to post on the disgusting, uniquely American phenomenon that is Golden Corral and it's Celebration of Gluttony Ad campaign.

I'm going to be especially mean-spirited with this one, because, come on: That woman does not need to be sitting down to a dinner of bacon-wrapped sirloin, ok? Hey lady, see that husband you are trying really hard to make a widower? See those little kids you apparently don't care to see graduate from High School? Heck, see that expanding waistline of your own? Notice how you can't even see the freaking scale anymore, let alone keep track of your expanding girth? Ever hear of the freaking Body Mass Index?

What's next? "Who's got chicken- dipped in beer batter- fried in butter and onions- wrapped in bacon and sausage links- served with all the hush puppies I can eat- for about ten dollars? 'Cause we're HUNGRY!"

Oh, and that "punchline"- what the hell?

Whale...errr, wife: "Ten Bucks??"

Husband: "That's hot!"

Talk about not even trying. I can only hope that the camera cut away before it could register the reaction of those two poor kids- embarrassed cringing, wincing, and glances around the "restaurant," praying that none of their friends see them sitting at the same table with these "witty" pigs who at least twice found each other attractive enough to engage in sexual intercourse.

(I'd also like to point out here another annoying theme in Golden Corral commercials- the insistence of the ad men in portraying a "typical family" as having a son who looks like he'll be a carbon copy of Dad, and a daughter who looks like she'll grow up to be the spitting image of Mom. I really hate that.)

Hey, maybe that's what Golden Corral's real purpose is: to create a nation of flabby, ugly thirty-somethings with so much heart damage that breeding has become out of the question. Either that or a race of human-cow hybrids with four chins and no taste buds. Take your pick. I just wish these people would get a sitter instead of passing on their self-destructive habits to the next generation.


  1. It's a good thing that no one has yet to propose a tax on the lard they use to cook garbage like this; I'd hate to see the ad campaign denouncing it.

  2. "Now those politicians in Washington are tryin' to tell me how to feed my family! We just don't need extra taxes on lard, sugar, salt and pork right now!"

    --Paid for by Americans Against 'Food' Taxes.

  3. I understand the appeal of trying to save a few bucks.

    I also understand wanting good food for those few bucks.

    What I don't understand is the desire to go out into public and shove food down your throat-hole in an all-you-can-eat establishment. Sure, maybe this is your "cheat day" on your typical healthy diet, but come on! Is waking up sweating the grease from the night before really worth it?

    And, what I don't understand is that if they're trying to save money ("...and for around ten bucks!") why are they even going out? I have an online acquaintance who writes a blog on how frugal she is and how they're strapped for money and in one of those blogs, she described how she made her own laundry soap. How'd she get the idea? "Well, we were out to dinner for our 'date night' and I thought..."

    Wait, you're so strapped for cash you're making your own laundry soap (which takes hours, by the way- and she's saving about ten cents per load!) and you go out to dinner and have a 'date night'? What the hell?

    We save our few meager dollars of disposable income for things we can use- like the Internet service. If we have food we don't cook at home, its usually takeout and if we do "go out", its because my parents are taking us out and footing the bill. (and then its to a real sit-down restaurant where they not only bring the food to you, but have real options on the menu).

    Yet again, my comment has become its own rant. Apologies.

  4. Excellent points, Pahz- especially where you point out that these idiots are ANNOUNCING in front of their KIDS that they are

    1. Really, really cheap- "we want all this stuff, but we don't want to spend any money," and

    2. Really, really disgusting: "We're hungry, so it's got to be all you can eat." What does this mean? Are dinners at home "all you can eat?" No? Well, arent' they ever hungry when they sit down to dinner at home? What the heck?

    Also good point about the penny-wise, pound-foolish attitude: Jesus, people, just go out less often, save your money, and you could take your kids to a nice restaurant. BETTER YET, leave the freaking kids at home with a sitter, and hubby and wife go out to a nice place with decent food. Maybe once a year is reasonable, considering their insistence on a ten-dollar ceiling for the family.

    For now, I wonder what sacrifices these people make so that they can afford to be pigs at Golden Corral once in a while.

    Again-excellent "rant," Pahz!

  5. The latest commercial, which targets the INFESTATION of the super fat and super UGLY LATINOS--and their multitude of anchor babies, really disgusts me.

    At least they could have found some attractive Latino actors to put in the commercial.

    Every time that I go to the GC, all I see is Hispanics and their table full of anchor babies--all speaking Spanish, OF COURSE.

  6. Ryan- one pathetic, bigoted, xenophobic rant was enough. Take your disgusting, sad "America for Americans" idiocy back to the 1920s where it belongs, ok?