Friday, February 18, 2011

Saving your way into the poorhouse

There are so many of these Chase Sapphire commercials, and they are all so forehead-slapping stupid, that my guess is that I will be snarking on several of them over the coming weeks. I would just hate to leave any of them out.

In this logic-twisting episode, a guy is "plagued" by his stalker/brother's confusion over the "benefit" of using a Chase Sapphire Debit Card. Seems the stalker/loser has decided to become a poster boy for the saying "a little information in the hands of an idiot is a very, very dangerous thing" and because he gets cash back on every purchase, is determined to purchase everything, including things for the object of his...err, sibling rivalry?

Yeah, this makes lots of sense. I get a couple of pennies back every time I buy something with my card? Get out of the way, I'm going to use my card to buy stuff I don't even need or want! Because it's all about getting those pennies! Not only that, but I'll feel convinced that I've pulled off some kind of coup if I can buy stuff for YOU with MY card, because haha I've nailed down those pennies for ME, sucker!

Do I really have to explain how incredibly dumb this is (especially the final scene, where the guy who has just had his gasoline purchased for him acts as if he's been bested, AGAIN?) The guy with the lightning draw with his Chase Sapphire Debit Card can follow me around anytime, ok? I'll even play along, acting irritated if not downright infuriated at his ability to beat me to the punch and pay for my purchases before I can get my own card out. Darn it, I've been cheated out of my pennies again! Here's a fist wave for ya, buddy!

(And oh, by the way, I sure HOPE you don't show up at my next stop- I'm on my way to Penny's to buy a new suit. You'd BETTER not pull this over there. I'm WARNING you!)

Seriously- why can't MY brothers be this stupid? Maybe in real life they are too busy buying hundreds of dollars worth of junk over at Best Buy in order to nail down those $10 gift cards? Maybe because they aren't the products of inbreeding (seriously, what's with the 'Dueling Banjos' bit?)

Ugh, the Stupid. It burns. Especially when it comes in the form of a glowing blue card, wielded by a clueless idiot.


  1. This guy can come with me the next time I take my kids to the dentist. Also, the hospital where I had my knee replacement surgery takes credit cards. (we're still paying on it- two years later- and we have insurance).

    But I digress...

    I hear you can buy cars with credit cards.

  2. Well, for some reason, VISA thinks a teacher making $52,000 per year needs a credit card with a $20,000 limit, so I'm not surprised you can buy cars with credit cards.

    I can tell you that I won't be jumping in front of anyone to pay for their stuff, and I don't care HOW many pennies I "get back."