Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Start your day with a nice ear bleeding

Maybe it's just that it's too damn early in the morning when this ad plays, and I'm just not in the mood to hear Jennifer Hudson screeching like a banshee at high volume about how she used to be fat and she's not anymore.

Maybe I'm just sick of mega-millionaire celebrities crowing about how they lost tons of weight eating plastic food conveniently delivered to their door. I mean, I kind of already knew that if you could afford to buy prepared meals AND hire a personal trainer AND a Life coach, it's not all that hard to lose weight. Didn't really need a commercial which makes my freaking ears bleed to confirm it, thanks anyway, Ms Hudson. Seems like only yesterday that Oprah Winfrey stepped from behind a curtain to show off her new skinny body- whatever happened to that body, anyway?

Maybe I'm tired of the "I lost weight fast" message always trumping the "I lost weight safely and sensibly" message. How does eating specially-manufactured crud from Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig teach you how to manage your diet once the budget-busting deal is expired? What have you learned about your body by eating prepared meals? Absolutely nothing.

Maybe I'm just bored with the Silver Bullet Theory of Dieting. This commercial isn't any better or worse than the Right Size Smoothie BS I hear on XM radio roughly 400 times a day- "feed your body right" by guzzling strawberry-flavored milkshakes? Suurreee.

Maybe after losing 25 lbs in three months by replacing two meals a day with Grape Nuts, Cheerios, fruit, yogurt, etc, cutting out all sweets and snacks, and walking an average of 50 miles a week and going to the gym at least four times a week, I am just very intolerant toward "spend money and lose weight" ads.

Or maybe, there's just no good time of day to be assaulted by this self-congratulatory "I took an expensive short cut, check out my awesomeness" bs. Congratulations, Ms Hudson. Not wishing you any ill-will, but I am looking forward to seeing what you look like a year from now.


  1. One funny thing about Jennifer Hudson in those ads is that you can see that she's still not a stick figure -- the dresses she wears have high waists and are widely flared at the hips -- the ad maker is CLEARLY trying to create the illusion of an hourglass figure.

  2. The other amusing thing about this is that there was nothing wrong with her to start with; it's like she's the protagonist of Cathy always screaming about how repulsive it is to not be one's birth weight.

  3. Thank you- I was tired when I was posting this and I forgot that point- Jennifer Hudson is "singing" because she's managed to conform to society's idea of what a woman should look like. She never suggests that she wasn't perfectly healthy before she dumped the weight, only that she thinks she "looks better."

  4. My doctor- the person who I have entrusted in my healthcare- told me that I should lose weight slowly... a pound to three pounds in a week. And I'm thinking I'll just keep following her advice of eating right and moving as much as possible.

    As for the commercial, let's ignore the fact that most of these thin-quick places lure the poor souls in with the "free" crap when nothing from them is ever truly free. (I've never tried this particular way to lose weight, so I suppose I'm not an expert)

    And, didn't this used to be Kirstie Alley's gig? She gained her weight back, if I recall...

  5. Pahz- I didn't intend to lose so much weight so fast- my heart got snapped in half on October 5, and I literally could not eat or sleep for about two weeks. When I started to pick up the pieces, I still had no appetite, and decided to take advantage of the situation as best I could. I don't recommend that anyone lose weight as fast as I did or the way I did it.

  6. You're also doing it better than this way, though. What with the added exercise and regular food- odds are it won't come back. I used to walk four miles a day and I ate whatever I wanted, I just ate less of it.

    I got sick and it came back (I was so pissed about that)... and now I'm better (with a new knee joint!) and its coming off.

    There's another ad like this out- the one with Marie Osmond. At least there's no singing.

  7. Hudson is still a fatty in my book. She doesn't have genes that will allow her to be skinny. Time to face the truth on that one, Jennifer. Sorry. Also notice how her Afro has been straightened in the commercials, which lends to the illusion of slenderness. All these women trying to conform themselves to society's definition of attractive - white, body like a 14 yr old boy, super straight hair - these dieters need mental self help. They're glaringly insecure.