Friday, February 11, 2011

When the Endless Pasta Bowl just won't cut it

"We're in the mood for really fatty, greasy garbage. Who's got it?"

"Ok, now who's got that really fatty, greasy garbage in big steam troughs so we can keep going up and filling our plates over and over again, until our internal organs beg for mercy and our taste buds have committed suicide?"

"Ok, now who's got that really fatty, greasy garbage in big steam troughs for about ten bucks- pretty much cementing the notion that this is really cheap, fatty garbage and the remaining restaurant is a Denny's clone- and if you don't want ribs, you've got plenty of meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, spaghetti and all the rest of my fiber-free, artery-hating favorites?"

"Golden Corral? Yep...that's what I thought. Ok, roll me up to the booth, bring me a pitcher of iced tea and don't even THINK about bringing me the bill for at least three hours."


(And oh, just an aside to the Child Abusing Dad in this commercial: You don't need to be hitting any All You Can Eat rib places, buddy. Do your heart a favor and limit your Endless Grazing to salad bars for a while at least, ok? I mean, make an effort to teach SOMETHING of value to those kids of yours before you drop dead from the inevitable massive coronary.)


  1. We're hungry= We haven't eaten all day because preparing food at home takes too much effort.

    It has to be around ten bucks= we're cheap.

    Did anyone else notice the brain-dead appearance in the children? Their sad, dark eyes, staring blankly at the far-too-chipper Golden Corral employee...

    Speaking of him, why the hell is he so damn happy? He's making crap wages at a job that garners barely an tips because who tips anyone at a buffet where they don't even bring the food to the table?

    I'll stick to cooking at home, thanks.

  2. Pahz- I totally forgot to mention the dickweed Golden Corral spokestool, who looks so damned thrilled to death to be working at some greasy spoon food bin where he gets to wear an ugly apron and a stupid hat while bringing extra napkins to the sweaty pigs in sweatpants who frequent places like this.

  3. Should the dinner you provide fpr your family really be the result of some ridiculous game you play where you throw together a bunch of seemingly impossible to meet criteria? Im all for a bargain but unlimited food, prepared for you in a sit down restaurant for under 10 dollars? Just the idea of eating at this place makes me want to vomit. Think about all the nasty people and their 12 unwashed, undisciplined children touching, grabbing and sneezing all over the food before you even get to it. Also, I love how the father says "Were in the mood for baby back ribs" Something tells me that no 12 year old little girl says "I want all you can eat baby back rib for dinner tonight"

  4. Excellent points. "We want to eat out. We want all the food we can cram down our cake holes, we want to eat baby back ribs, and we don't want to pay much money." You're just ASKING for quality with that list of demands, aren't you?

    And I agree with you about the girl- I feel sorry for that kid if she's developed an actual taste for cheap baby back ribs. My guess is that what she wants is to go out to eat- the cheap junk is mom and dad's idea.

  5. Actually, Golden Corral operates on a "pay first" basis, so they won't brimg you the bill at all. You more or less pay into Food World are loiteringly feast until you can't stand the thought of food anymore and are thus strongly self-motivated to leave Food World.