Monday, June 20, 2011

Indescribably Bad

Some commercials are just so darned awful, they actually defy my ability to snark on them. I mean, what can one say about an ad which starts off with two ugly little kids sitting at the kitchen table staring at their dad, waiting with baited breath, just hoping he'll notice the plate of cookies sitting right in front of him and eat one?

And what can one say about the sheer excitement and joy these kids express when they see that their dad shares their enthusiasm over this particular brand of cookie?

And I really don't know what else to add to the stream of adjectives used to describe the experience of eating one of these cookies.* We get the point long before the ad is over, but because no commercial can ever be allowed to end until at least ten seconds after we've begun to grow very sick of it, the inane blathering of this severely ill and bored Family with Zero Life continues, ending with Grandpa's "Franklin Delano!" punchline (is it called a punchline because it makes you want to punch someone? Because if it is, it works here.)

So I guess it's Mission Accomplished for the kids- by investing in a bag of Fudge Slavered Oreos and placing them in front of parents and grandparents, they've managed to hook the whole family on a brand new cavity-and-body fat promoting taste treat. I suspect it's now time to rush to Facebook to LIKE these things. Congratulations, kids- the next thousand bags are on the "adults" of the house.

Funny- I can remember when there was only one kind of Oreo cookie on the market. Then they came out with Double Stuff (I guess they noticed that kids were creating these on their own by discarding half the wafer sections.) Then there were multiple flavors, and now they come dipped in fudge. I suppose the next step is to coat them in sugar and butter and deep fry them? Thanks in advance, Nabisco!

*According to YouTube posters, "Shut the Front Door" is already appearing on t-shirts. As if I need another reason to want to hit somebody...


  1. I suppose the next step is to coat them in sugar and butter and deep fry them?

    I wonder if someone at Nabisco is reading this and asking himself who blabbed.

  2. My friend in Australia loves Oreos. But then, he can't get them there. When he visited the first time in 2004, he was thrilled to see the double-stuffs and even tried the mint flavored ones (he wasn't a fan).

    He's been back two more times since and it seems like every time Oreo puts out a new product (one time it was "Cakesters"), he somehow comes back.

    I will take this ad as an omen to get the guest room squared away.

  3. Hey Phaz (BTW I look forward to your comments on here) Where in Australia is your friend from? I have family there and have been there a few times..

  4. They were selling deep-fried Oreos (with ice cream) at a music festival I attended last month. Of course, this is Texas, where we'll deep-fry pretty much anything. Fried beer was an offering at last years state fair.

  5. rtl12574- firstly, thanks. He lives in Brisbane. If he can get Oreos there, I will tell him. Because he just discovered he can get root beer- A&W Root beer- for something like eleven bucks a six pack. (his other American favorite, aside from, you know, Oreos and me).