Thursday, June 9, 2011

Jell-O Spreads the Hate

Unwilling to let Volkswagen, Sprint and Kraft Mac 'n Cheese corner the market in loathsomeness, Jell-O has inaugurated a series of Parents v. Kids commercials in which Mommy and Daddy terrorize their kids into keeping their hands off of the Made for Adults desserts.

In this version, Mom and Dad are perfectly willing to traumatize Son and Daughter with stories of "Choco-Beasts" instead of simply ASKING them to stop "stealing" their Jell-O. The kids, who will probably need years of therapy before they can ever sleep in a tent more than five feet from the house again, run terrified into the house, but it's all good because their parents get all the Chocolate Goo in a Cup to themselves.

All in good fun, because except for the soiled pajamas, fear of the dark and new-found distrust of their parents, no harm has been done to these kids.

Thanks, Jell-O!


  1. We have an asshole like that in Canada trying to keep his kids from bogarting his Oatmeal Crunch cereal; the only difference is that he isn't trying to scare people, he's just telling glaringly obvious bullshit stories about how they wouldn't like it because it was good for them.

  2. 1. Glad to see you back, sir.

    2. what exactly makes that Jello "adults only"

  3. Given that depriving the offsprings and small ones of the tasteless synthetic food while consuming it themselves will not only prolong the kid's lives while shortening their own, what we have here is a very stupid example of doing the right thing for the wrong reason.