Sunday, November 6, 2011

No, it's not PC. The word I'd use is "gross." Maybe "sad."

What's almost heartbreaking about this commercial is it's utter believability. This is a scene I've come pretty close to witnessing almost every time I take a long walk- "adult" glued to a screen which can now (unfortunately for the kids who, finding themselves mysteriously existing, haven't figured out that the large person who feeds and clothes them considered his/her job completed the moment they became zygotes) be brought along for "quality time" with the spawn. Hey kids- mom and/or dad are in the vicinity, shouldn't that be good enough?

Anyway, this guy wants to go out for the evening with the person he chose to fertilize eggs with. Fine, nothing wrong with that. Looks like they've got themselves a babysitter. But the barnacle babies aren't all that willing to let zombie dad go just yet- gee, maybe they are just tired of being treated like unwelcome virus germs who have no business interfering with this guy's life? Rather than just assure the adorable little ones that Mommy and Daddy just want some Us Time and will almost certainly be back when they wake up in the morning, Daddy sets up the next generation to treat technology like a pain-killing drug. No Daddy? No problem- here's Sponge Bob, on a convenient, transportable flat screen. A few short years ago, I guess, the hilarious solution would have been Daddy sticking a DVD into the machine- and I can't for the life of me understand why this is better, especially when you consider that kids are a lot less likely to accidentally download pornography from a DVD player....

This commercial reminds me of the one I did a few years back featuring Owen Wilson's brother, where he provides instant electronic entertainment in the form of a downloadable cartoon for the benefit of a harried dad who must (horrors!) entertain his kid for a few seconds while Mommy's in the restroom. Both are absolutely despicable in suggesting that the best way to deal with children is to hypnotize them with the newest version of the Idiot Box. Because hey, it works for the "adults" just fine.

Come to think of it, I wonder why these people even got a Babysitter. Or why, if they think that a Babysitter is so important, they don't bring her along when they take their kids to the park. After all, those annoying brats aren't going to be trained to do nothing but watch TV without some serious effort- and until that blessed day arrives, SOMEONE should be watching them while they do things like, I don't know, RUN AND PLAY.

1 comment:

  1. What's next? An ad for a powerful tranquilizer that will knock them for a loop so they don't...oh, wait....that's what you're talking about.