Sunday, November 27, 2011

Wanting a meteor to crash down and kill everyone in this commercial? So three minutes ago



There's not much I can say about his truly hate-inspiring 31 seconds of putrid, festering rubbish. Fat, unshaven zombies slouching in folding chairs at a tailgating party, staring at their cell phones, looking as if they'd lost their will to live quite some time ago and are just waiting for the inevitable pizza-induced heart attack to put them out of their misery (ours, too.) Not even looking up when new people arrive to make comments or ask questions- no, any response must be made in a muttered monotone which does not distract from gazing at those god damned screens. And of course we get the obligatory "of course we can do that pointless bullshit techno-crap (in this case, posting videos on Facebook)" scene, again delivered in a deadpan "this stopped being interesting or fun So Four Cell Phone Updates Ago" bleat.

Wow, turns out that I had more to say than I thought I did. Anyway, I really, really hate this ad, these actors, and everyone who had anything to do with this film. Maybe in the remake of "Public Citizen," Gerard Butler's character can track them all down and kill them in amazingly entertaining, gruesome and satisfying ways. Especially the dicks who responded to a question by videoing the questioner and posting it on Facebook- because respect for privacy was So Three Years Ago.

Never mind, I can't wait. Just bring on the meteor, please.

5 comments:

  1. You should rant on the following commercials:

    the stupid Columbia sportswear one where they are trying to appeal to "barely not-naked women freezing" fetish group and are betting they don't know how thermodynamics work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKd3kTMDSIk

    the stupid Southwest football commercials: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coZlf_b9n7c

    and finally the stupid Makers Mark commercials where they (and by they I mean Jimmy Fallon, no joke, check out the link) try so very, very hard to convince you that Makers Mark isn't elitist or pompous with their TOTALLY ELITIST AND POMPOUS MESSAGE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5AZF9Elj8g

    p.s. why are you racist against South Koreans like every other douche in America?

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  2. Thanks for the suggestion- but what the hell are you talking about with that last remark? Talk about coming out of left field.

    BTW, last time I checked, "South Korean" is not a "Race."

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  3. Just to note, the holiday season has begun because I saw an obnoxious "Lexus December to Remember" commercial. Screw you unemployed people! I got a big-ass car with a bow on it!

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  4. Ah, well; at least it's not the State Farm ad that has Nit and Wit talk about the giant robot destroying someone's house. "Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is ripping off SNL!"

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  5. John, every time I see an ad I hate, I know you will get to it. And then I want to say "Hell, yeah!" because that's all I got most of the time.

    I hope I can find the local mall Christmas ads online and share them with you. So you can stare at your monitor with the same pained, confused look I do.

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