Sunday, October 6, 2013
I do appreciate the "South of Buffalo" disclaimer
Ok, here's the plan:
YOU! Get out there and warm up the car! Don't forget to adjust the seats for more legroom; there's nothing worse than trying to do this on the way BACK from Wild Wings, when we are all fat and sweaty and drunk and can barely breathe because we've spent the entire day jamming fat down our throats!
YOU! Get there early and reserve the table closest to the big screen!
YOU! Order up the massive cheeseburgers with everything!
YOU! Make sure the baskets of wings keep coming to give us something to nibble on while waiting for the cheeseburgers!
YOU! Tell the waitress to keep the pitchers coming; the best way to assure that the food tastes good and that we keep ordering it long after we are full is to let us get a good beer buzz going!
YOU! Make sure you've got 911 on your speed dial!
YOU! Interrupt anyone who tries to talk about anything other than the game on the screen over the course of the afternoon. ESPECIALLY if they mention family, friends, or their jobs. In fact, shut up ANYBODY who says ANYTHING that is not an order for more food or a high-volume, football knowledge-deficient comment concerning the game containing at least one curse word!
YOU! Suppress any desire to even think for one minute about how incredibly shallow and sad it is that we feel the need to spend every damn Sunday afternoon filling ourselves with crap by rooting on a crowd of millionaires instead of being with our spouses and kids!