Sunday, April 27, 2014

Cheerios- never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity

I hear conversations like this between "parents" and their children all the time- kids asking questions, "parents" going out of their way to not answer them in a way which might make their kids just a little smarter.  The kid in this commercial is not being especially annoying- he's not bleating "can I have it can I have it" or "whats that" or throwing a tantrum or anything.  He's asking his father why he is picking a particular cereal.

Hey, dad- that really, really loud knock you are hearing?  That's opportunity.  Here's a chance to share.  Here's a chance to give your kid some information.  Some of us call these Teachable Moments.   I'm not a parent, but I was a kid, and I know these Moments come up only about 4000 times a day.  And from my experience out in the public, I also know that they are ignored about 3999 times a day.  You seem pretty determined to avoid doing anything to help your kid understand why you are buying that Cheerios.  I wonder why.

Instead, you respond with half-sentences delivered in a monotone which sounds like nothing more than "stop talking to me."  "Why did you buy that?"  "It's my cereal."  "Is there a prize?"  "Yes."  "Is it a dinosaur?"  "No."  It's like you are allergic to the idea of providing information to your kids.

And this is something else I witness a lot - parents who instead of answering questions insist on having the questions asked again and again AND AGAIN until everyone within twenty yards is grinding their teeth wishing they could work up the guts to answer for them.

I heard this question at my local Shoppers Food Warehouse just TODAY:

"Why do we need to buy bread"
Parent:  No Response.
"Why do we need to buy bread"
Parent:  No Response
"Why are we buyin' bread?"
Parent:  No Response
"Why are we buyin' bread?"
Parent:  "To make sandwiches for your lunch."
"Oh ok."

(Seriously, do you morons think we are in love with your kid's voices, or what?)

Ok, back to this commercial.  Instead of the cryptic smarmy "there's a prize all right," how about talking to this kid about how some foods are healthy and make us feel better and live longer, happier lives?  You know, instead of this non-informative crap about prizes?  I mean, anytime you want to start actually RAISING that kid instead of just making sure he doesn't play in traffic until he's 18 and can kicked to the curb would be fine with us.  Moron.

Oh, and by the way- when there's someone behind you in line, scan your own goddamned groceries and don't let your kid do it, unless you are actually willing to show him how and not just to let him fail for ten minutes before you mutter something in disgust and do it yourself.   We have lives too you know.

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