Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Well, at least it's not a gun ad

1.  Geeky High School kid is insecure.

2.  Almost As Worthless As Bambi's Dad gives Geeky High School kid the keys to the Audi and tells him to "have a good time tonight."  He knows his son well enough not to say that while giving him a condom.

3.  Geeky High School kid is SO insecure that the very act of driving the family Audi has more than tripled his self-confidence, and he is able to stride on to the dance floor of the prom and kiss the Queen.

4.  In a rather odd twist, Geeky High School kid (now proudly supporting a black eye, presumably issued by the King) instantly leaves the dance instead of accepting the accolades and sudden admiration of the people who never knew he existed before and satisfies himself by speeding back home so he can log in as KirkRules9870 and stay up till 4 AM drinking Red Bull and telling his internet "friends" all about it.  He probably satisfies himself in other ways, but this is a family blog so I'll just leave it there.

5.  A day or two later, Geeky High School kid comes to the realization that instead of pulling off some Great Moment in his life, he experienced a massive Lost Opportunity by running back to his cave so quickly.  Then he'll console himself with the thought that at least Dad owns an Audi- never mind that no one at the dance got to see or praise it, so really, what was the point again?


  1. As others have pointed out before me, there's also not a lot of consent involved here on the prom queen's part. We're supposed to believe she's suddenly rapturous over Geek Boy just because he walks up to her and grabs her and kisses her? "Like, wow, he's so manly...he just grabs girls and kisses them without asking first...He's really hot." Um, not really.

  2. "geeks ask. Men take. Be a man. Drive an Audi."