Friday, January 9, 2015

For Sloppy Valentines to itself, nobody beats Apple

This self-congratulatory wall of noise and blurry images brought to you by the masters of self-congratulation.  our friends at Apple.

Some companies are satisfied to try to convince us that their products will make our lives more fun, slightly more bearable, more interesting, etc.  Apple is forever intent on convincing us that their products will change the way in which the Earth revolves around the sun and that a thousand years from now, we will be using a new calender which marks Year One as the year Apple first decided to bless us with it's awesome thin electronic crap.

Personally, I'm pretty damned sick of Apple shouting "your life was a smoldering pile of nothing before we came along" in every one of their ads.  Especially since I'm not likely to ever actually own anything made by Apple (and yet....I live....I breathe....I communicate.....what the heck?)  Just tell me what new version of yesterday's pointless junk you are peddling this month, ok, Apple?  Stop trying to sell me on the idea that you are introducing a new Renaissance in Connectivity, because all I see is more and more people staring at screens like crack addicts looking for a constant fix.


  1. I also don't see anything in this commercial that tells me why I should buy Apple specifically. If, hypothetically, I was sold on the "need a tablet" idea by this, there are still a number of tablets to choose from, which would satisfy my needs.

  2. Given that the glowing rectangle with the apple on the back functions pretty much like any of the other glowing rectangles inspired by the PADD devices from Star Trek: Tea Earl Grey Hot, the messianic mess of an ad is unusually annoying.

    1. Being able to do this is literally the only thing that has tempted me to buy an Apple computer.

      Otherwise, I'm fine with what I've got.