Saturday, April 18, 2015

Chevy Presents: Soul-Sucking Sad

Never mind the first 17 seconds of this banal, insulting little nub of a car commercial, which features the done-to-death bs "focus group" which has been lured into sitting around a table (probably with nothing more than the promise of having a few seconds of face time on tv) to answer exactly one question by a Chevrolet Spokeschoad (I hope they at least served cookies.)  It's a pretty typical commercial for the genre- "hey, here are a lot of really cool things about this new car, guess what car company we are talking about?"  It's been used with coffee, pasta, frozen pizza, diet soda- why not cars?

No, don't worry about those first 17 seconds.  I suggest you skip right to the seriously depressing part of this commercial- when the Obviously Dead Inside woman responds to the fact that this car comes with internet connectivity you can carry with you with "that's the dream, to have WiFi in the car."

Um....I guess that's your dream, lady.  I really hope to god that it's no one else's.  In fact, I hope to god that you are just reading off a cue card and your "dream" doesn't REALLY include driving a car that allows you to stream movies as you travel from Point A to Point B.  Because if you are being sincere, well, seriously.....your dreams need some serious evaluating.

Maybe I'm overreacting a bit because I walk so much, and despite my blaze-orange backpack I know I have to be constantly on guard against stupid, distracted douchenozzle inattentive drivers.  At least two or three times a week I have to audibly remind some jackass behind the wheel staring at his/her phone that a human being who has the light is crossing in front of their car.  I'm not too excited at the idea of vehicles becoming moving theaters with continuous Facebook connectivity, even if it is some thoughtless moron's idea of "living the dream," sorry.

1 comment:

  1. You know what? In about 20 years when everyone has self-driving cars (or so they tell us), WiFi in the car and turning your vehicle into a theater on wheels will be just fine. Right now? Not so much.