Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Dolmio's Pepper Hacker: Passive-Aggressiveness Squared
At first, this seems like kind of a cool idea- just shut off the electronic devices and MAKE the addicted jackasses you happen to share a home with interact with you. But after a few viewings, this commercial became more disturbing than hopeful. Here's why:
1. Everyone in this ad except Mom is a drug addict. The drug just happens to be what is laughingly referred to as "connectivity." Why did mom let things get so bad? Because mom's a spineless jellyfish when it comes to disciplining her kids? If that's the case, why am I supposed to feel sorry for you, Mom?
2. The kid who throws his phone to the floor in anger because he's mysteriously lost his signal- I don't care if that phone is broken or not. This kid has a serious problem that isn't going to be addressed by cutting off the signal. Again, this is drug addiction. I wonder- if he were shown a video of himself acting like this, would he recognize his behavior as being irrational? I also wonder- if that phone is broken, is Mommy going to rush him to the store to pick out a new one?
3. The little kid who freaks out and throws a tantrum because he can't play with the tablet at the kitchen table- well, now we know where the phone-thrower came from. In a few years that kid will be a mute, passive potato curled up in his room staring at a glowing screen 12 hours a day. Because by then...
4. How long is it going to be before one of those other people see this commercial and get rid of the Pepper Hacker? Considering that their lives are spent "online," I give it an hour. Then the shaker is myseriously broken or missing, and everyone can go back to ignoring that Older Female In The House Who Always Seems To Want Something.
5. I'll finish up by going back to the general theme- if you aren't going to parent your kids, if you are going to let them do whatever they want including ignoring you, play with their idiot devices at the kitchen table (seriously, this makes me retch, why would any adult let their kids do this?) and throw tantrums when they are "disconnected," this Pepper Hacker thing is simply not going to solve your problem- that you are a wimpy, pathetic enabler who also happens to be scared to death of her kids.
There is simply no reason for ANY of this to be happening in a sane household. Kids need structure and boundaries. If you aren't going to give those precious gifts to your kids, please DON'T HAVE ANY. Because these dullards are the kind of people I end up having to dodge during my walks, as they are too busy staring at their phones to devote more than a third of their attention to operating their deadly motor vehicles. They are emotionally chained to their glowing boxes, and if you introduced them to Unlimited Talk, Text and Data before they were potty-trained, it's your fault and you need to stop whining and looking for ANOTHER electronic device to fix the problem YOU created.