Monday, April 6, 2015
You can never find a good Plantagenet when you need one...
All I can think of when I'm subjected to these celebrations of pointless, bland suburban idiocy featuring unshaven Upper Middle Class douchenozzles wasting their lives obsessing over their f--ing lawns is how much better off we all would have been if Edward had just razed Scotland to the ground, and then burned the ashes, 700 years ago like he wanted.
Sure it would have been a real tragedy for the people of the time, but we'd be spared the vacous bleating of this jagoff with his "quit yer lollygagging" crap, and people have to die of something anyway, after all.
I'm going to build a time machine, drop in on 1300 or so, and tell the English Royal Family to go all out and finish the job. Don't stop at Sterling. Posterity will thank you.