Friday, July 17, 2015

Not pictured: What any of this had to do with buying anything



So....when this stupid idiot was bitten by an unfamiliar watersnake, he

1.  Decided to seek out a couple of inbred, toothless hicks who coudn't speak recognizable English instead of, oh, I don't know, going to a hospital.  Maybe this particular car doesn't come with GPS or WiFi and maybe this is the only other person on the planet other than me who doesn't own a SmartPhone?

2.  Figured that no matter what the fugitives from Deliverance told him, he had been bitten by a poisonous snake.  Kind of makes you wonder why he asked.  Then again, this is a guy who still hasn't gone to a hospital to be checked out.

3.  Clearly never, ever went to a hospital and survived the snake bite out of sheer dumb luck because the snake was not, in fact, poisonous.   I don't know if he's telling this story that night, or a month later, or five years later, but he's made it quite obvious that he never consulted a professional about the snake bite.  Because he thinks that he's just immune to snake venom.

4.  Anyone else want to see this idiot continue to wade through swamps in total confidence that he's immune to snake venom?  Or is it just me?

2 comments:

  1. I'd like to think that what the hick guys really said to him--they're speaking French, so I guess this is supposed to be Louisiana--was actually "Ce n'est pas poisson"--which was their form of a sarcastic reply. He screams "I've just been bitten by a snake!," and the hicks look more closely at the bite and reply "Ce n'est pas poisson"--i.e., "Well, it's certainly not a fish!" I.e., "Yeah, you got bitten by a snake, dummy. DUH." And they really don't give a damn, so for all they care he could die from the poisonous venom. Sound good? I think so.

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    1. I wanted the guy to continue "...and I'm a tourist, and you are locals, which means you are required to render assistance to my sorry ass, because everyone knows that tourists are helpless morons!"

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