Friday, July 24, 2015

I can see where an actual flamethrower would come in handy here.

Yes, stupid lady, Gary remembers what happened last time.  And he doesn't give a damn because hey, he's Gary and he's a guy and you keep following him to Dairy Queen like a very, very unhappy little puppy.

Maybe it's just a lack of self-esteem?

I mean, think about it for a second.  From this guy's change in facial hair (which is supposed to indicate the passage of time, right?) the couple in this ad has been coming to Dairy Queen for years and years, and for years and years Gary has been making a total ass of himself every. Single. Time.

Yet, not only does this guy keep coming back to Dairy Queen- but this woman keeps coming back with him.  To be embarressed by his idiot behavior.  Over and over again.

By the time we get to the Present Day, she looks totally deflated, defeated, and most of all resigned to the idea that this is the guy she's going to be with for the foreseeable future.  All she can manage nowadays is a resigned "you know yourself, Gary."  Someone taught this woman very, very well that no matter how painful and life-sucking it may be to be with a guy, it's still better than being alone.

There is absolutely nothing worse than being alone- not even being with Gary.

But hey, maybe after becoming a familiar sight at Dairy Queen ("oh great, here comes Miss Desperate and Braying Moron Boyfriend Again") this time she's going to get a break- Gary has purchased what looks to be about two ounces of ice cream to cool down his mouth after whatever jalepeno-infested crap he insists on consuming gets eaten.  A fountain soda filled with a cold drink and ice couldn't do it, but a child-sized sundae will, huh?  Well, whatever, Dairy Queen.  It's your commercial.

And whatever, sad lady- it's your life.

(Heads up, kids and people- I'll be taking my annual vacation to the beach tomorrow and won't be able to update this site until next Saturday.  Enjoy the Archives 'till then!)

1 comment:

  1. They might as well be named Mike and Deanna. This is because 'Gary' is dumb enough to be the Delicate Genius and Not-Gary is defeated as Deanna would have to be right now.