Sunday, February 14, 2016

Paraphrasing Winston Churchill who, btw, would never touch this crap....



Never in the history of mankind has so much noise, so much chest-thumping, so much bragging and so much effort been expended in the service of so very, very little.

Seriously- I'm supposed to care that Budweiser WON'T LIVE BY THE RULES and isn't YOUR MOMMY'S PUMPKIN SPICE BEER YOU WUSSY and is clearly claiming to be THE BEER FOR REAL MEN AND REAL WOMEN SO IF YOU AREN'T ONE DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO ORDER ONE OF THESE AWESOME M-FERS LOSER.   I don't- which means I guess I'm not in their customer base.  Which means I am supposed to be totally doubting my self-worth right about now.

I haven't had a Budweiser in years, but unless they've changed the recipe since then, this commercial doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. The message seems to be "Budweiser Goes Through A HELL OF A LOT to bring you a really, really mediocre beer!  So if you think you're good enough, head down to corner and pick yourself up a six-pack.  You can always find it, usually sitting right next to the good beer that isn't advertised with these KICK-ASS TESTOSTERONE-INFUSED COMMERCIALS!"

I feel bad about this, Budweiser, but I think I'll just keep passing on your product because- well, in the end, when I buy beer, I buy beer I actually want to drink.  Not beer that is made by a company which wants me to think that its production requires effort analogous to climbing Mt Everest with a keg- or at least, a pony keg- on your back.  Sorry you wasted so much time and effort.  If you want to just tell me I'm not good enough for your watery swill, I'll understand.

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