Sunday, February 7, 2016

So with an Audi, you can pretend to be an astronaut? Why do overgrown children have all the money?

A former astronaut who is now an old man sits in a chair, paralyzed with memories of his lost youth and glory.  He won't eat.  He's obviously suffering from depression, but....

He doesn't need medication, he doesn't need therapy, and he certainly doesn't need someone to share his stories with.  He doesn't need to be reminded that he's got children and grandchildren.   He needs family that cares about him enough to realize that there is something very, very unhealthy in obsessing about the past, and to show him that life doesn't end at eighty (or whenever.)

He doesn't have that kind of family.  Instead, he's got a douchenozzle son who thinks that driving a tripped-up Audi might remind Dad of that spacecraft he commanded fifty years ago.  Personally, I wish Dad had asked his son something like "seriously?  Do you really think that when you drive this LookAtMeDouchemobile you are doing anything like traveling to the moon?  Are you kidding?"

Instead, this being a commercial, Dad is reminded of his glory days because he can cruise down the road in his son's Audi with it's glowing lights and showy, 90% utterly pointless bells and whistles.  Never mind that the spacecraft back in the '60s didn't have Facebook or WiFi or individually heated seats or multiple cameras and object detection with automatic braking that basically makes the driver of the Audi a sack of potatoes along for the ride.  Or that Son is really, really insulting Dad by suggesting that this Middle Finger On Wheels is a substitute for what Dad really misses- the danger and excitement that comes with adventure.

Maybe Dad is like the grandfather in The Red Pony, who has gone and on for so many years about traveling to the moon that his son has become a bitter, resentful, jealous jerk.  Son is going to show Dad how insignificant he truly is by having him drive a car which has more advanced technology in the sound system than in all of the Apollo spacecraft combined.   That would make this commercial even sadder.

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