Saturday, April 23, 2016
Because life without DirectTV is just stupid and backward and wrong, I guess
So....the suburban jackass who lives next door and who KNOWS that the kid who visited his son comes from a family with vastly different values just let him watch DirectTV and use the features it provides....and it didn't even occur to him that in doing so he might be exposing him to things that violate the traditions of the kid's family?
Because "settling" for homemade clothes and from-scratch cooking and (oh horrors) life without DirectTV is just weird and stupid, gee it's sad that your kid has to come over to our house to be exposed to lightning-fast video games and hour after hour of brain-numbing stupid on TV, when he's stuck at home he's forced to do lame non-digital stuff like make his own hat and work in the garden like a sad loser, right?
In real life, I'd like the Settler Dad to tell douchenozzle "I don't give a damn about your weird values because they're weird" Dad "hey, you know what? We are raising our kids differently from yours. Our kids read instead of watch endless tv. They work puzzles and play outside rather than spend hour after hour with violent video games. Because we have different values. Instead of contaminating our kid with your 'superior' DirectTV-provided lifestyle, maybe you could show some respect for ours?" What if Settler Dad and Family were Amish? Would they still be "weird" and "backward" and stupid?
Personally? I don't think "Settler Dad's" kids are missing all that much. But that's not really the point, is it? Neighbor Dad? You're a jackass and have no business snarking on anyone's values. You certainly have no businessness undermining those values. If you can't be respectful of the "inferior" non-DirectTV world, at least mind your own f--ing business.
There are about half a dozen of these "Settler" ads out there now, running pretty much nonstop. So I'm sure I'll be snarking on other versions in the future, but this "your son really loves sneaking off to do stuff you don't approve of over at my house" crap really set me off. I think I'll calm down by reading the YouTube posters amuse themselves by repeating lines from the commercial. That will restore my faith in humanity.