Saturday, January 13, 2018

Dannon Yogurt Ads: the bane of daytime television....

I spend every January visiting the Vermont farmhouse I grew up in, usually parked in front of the tv grading a mountain of midterm exams while my mom watches Soap Operas and Lifetime Movies For White Women.  It's the one week a year that I get a lot of exposure to the world of Daytime Television, which means it's the one week a year I get a lot of exposure to the world of Daytime Television Commercials.  And I'm reminded that there's more on sale than cars, drugs, cell phones and beer.

For instance, they sell a lot of toilet paper during the day.  And "feminine protection" products.  And fabric softener and air fresheners.  And diapers. 

And yogurt.  Lots and lots of yogurt.  Which means lots and lots of women like this one, who finds herself utterly enthralled at the idea of eating "cheesecake" and "chocolate pudding" and "key lime pie" without worrying that her husband is going to dump her for the babysitter because she's starting to look her age, because now she can "indulge" in all those "bad foods" in yogurt form.  So while hubby is off doing whatever he does to provide for the family mansion and Lexus payments, TrophyStepfordWife wanders about the grocery store looking at the stuff she COULD be eating if she wasn't in constant fear of losing that girlish figure and going right to the stuff she CAN eat which kind of sort of maybe tastes a little like the stuff she WANTS to eat. 

After she frantically grabs an armful of Keep Me Thin Keep Husband Happy Keep Me In That Home I Sold Myself For yogurt, she'll stop by the pharmacy area to pick up her monthly supply of VitaLift, Revlon Anti-Aging Serum, etc. etc. before heading home for an hour on the Pelaton bike.  Then it's time to pick up the kids and get dinner ready.  Husband and kids like to eat.  This woman? She's what yogurt was invented for. 

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