Saturday, January 27, 2018

Glasses USA keeps trying to convince us that glasses are awesome. Tough sell.

The first woman in this ad really likes her friend's glasses- they kind of remind her that she ought to be wearing her own, which by the way cost hundreds of dollars, but she can't find them, which I guess is a design flaw of some kind.

She doesn't know what to do because even though she paid hundreds of dollars for her glasses, she can't find them, what kind of ripoff is that???  Her friend's response is not to help find the missing glasses, but to whip out her laptop so she can show her where she can get replacement glasses for much less than several hundred dollars. 

(In fact, she can get glasses "starting at $48."  You can bet that the $48 pairs don't include the "cute" glasses her friend is wearing, but if she's going to be careless with her glasses anyway, she's better off going for the cheapies, right?)

"Do people know about this?"  No, they don't.  This is a super-secret bit of information only available to non-people, like your friend with the cute glasses and now, you.  Dogs and certain breeds of rabbit are also aware of  But not people. 

So please spend the next several hours obsessing over the Try The Glasses On With the Virtual Mirror tool thingee before ordering your own pair of cute, nowhere-near-as-misplacable glasses, Stupid Non-Person.  And then be like everyone else in these ads- absolutely thrilled out of their freaking minds to be wearing uncomfortable pieces of plastic and glass which are virtually non-functional during snow and rain and despite "scratchproofing" currently in it's fifth decade continue to attract stratches if you look at them wrong.  Me, I'll stick with contact lenses.  They aren't cute, but they do help me avoid walking in front of cars.  That's good enough.

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