Sunday, January 21, 2018

Insurance Reminds Us Why We Are Here

"Hey dad, what's life insurance?"

"Oh, it's something dads buy."

"Not moms?"

"Some moms.  Not your mom.  Your mom used to have a job outside the home so Daddy didn't have to work fifty hours a week in a stuffy office to make enough money to pay all the bills, but then you came around and she took some time off, and even though she said she'd be going back to work as soon as you were old enough for a day care here it is five years later and she's still totally dependent on me and my income.  So even though Mommy bought everything in this house, it was with my money.  I'm just here to make sure the money keeps coming in, until I finally keel over from exhaustion someday."

" what is life insurance?"

"Well, you see, son, you and mommy live off my back like deer tics.  If something were to happen to me, you wouldn't have any money because God Forbid Mommy kept her toe in the employment pool instead of letting her skills atrophy until she wasn't an attractive candidate for any job other than Mommy.  So the idea is, I work even LONGER hours so I can make MORE money and buy this policy that says that when I finally do lose the last of my will to live because my whole life is work work work so she doesn't have to, you and your Mommy can keep living as if I'm still around, except with a slightly lower food bill, until Mommy can find another guy to take care of her like she's a helpless princess for the rest of HIS life."

"Do we have insurance?"

"Yes, we do.  I just kind of said so, didn't I?'

"It's good we have insurance."

"Of course it is.  It won't ever mean a thing to me, because if you ever see any of that money it means I'm dead, but it will keep you and your Mommy in style, and that's the important thing."


"Mommy has raised you well, son."

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