Thursday, December 26, 2019
Go back home, E.T. Nothing to see here anymore.
So E.T. visited Earth 37 years ago and wandered into the backyard of a little boy living in suburban Los Angeles with his two siblings and divorced mom. Over the next several days E.T. hid from the mom, had a tea party with the little girl, watched a little tv, got drunk, and built a device to signal his friends in outer space using a Speak and Spell, a coat hanger, and an umbrella. Then he died, was Born Again in Fulfillment of the Script, rode a bicycle into the sky and eventually ascended into the stars while inspirational music and tears flowed.
Thirty-seven years later, E.T. returns to Earth to see what Elliot is up to. Elliot's got kids of his own, this is going to be fun and cool again! Except....what do Elliot's kids do with E.T.? They introduce him to YouTube. They give him virtual reality goggles. They feed him cake- probably the only part of this visit that seems at all like an old friend returning from a long absence in this entire four-minute plus nostalgia glurge.
Then E.T. goes back home, probably for good this time, because even though he managed to avoid actually dying during this trip, I don't think he's leaving with the warm fuzzies for Elliot's kids and their obsession with tech. More likely he'll report to his superiors that Earth kids are nowhere near as interesting and fun as they were back in the 1980s, when that one kid who always wore headphones and was never off his bicycle represented "out of touch because of electronics."