Saturday, December 7, 2019

Punt all these idiots into a galaxy far, far away

So this kid is watching a Rise of Skywalker trailer on his phone in a dark room (f--king up his future vision, not that I give a damn) and decides that he needs a dog that reminds him of Chewbacca, a character that has almost no role in the new movies other than to be barked at by Rey and do her bidding.

His dad says no.  In keeping with what is expected of kids in commercials, this brat proceeds to harass his father- even to the point of hijacking the television using tech that same dad provided him- until dad breaks and agrees that he'd rather deal with the hassle of a dog than the hassle of a whiny little begging creep who is not going to stop.

So they go to get the dog, but it's too late- someone else has already adopted it.  I'm going to ignore the fact that dogs like this don't actually show up at shelters- anything that looks even moderately exotic is going to be living at a breeder or fancy pet store and is going to come with an equally fancy price tag.  Because this is TV, not reality.

When I first saw this ad, I thought that they had succeeded in adopting the dog, only to have the kid notice another animal he suddenly Couldn't Live Without and would now start whining to dad about adopting/buying.  At least I was wrong about that.  But this kid's elastic emotions annoy me almost as much as his obsession with a thoroughly craptacular series of films that almost make the prequels look good.  What if that dog doesn't look like a Star Wars character next year?  It's just a puppy- puppies turn into dogs, you petulant little rodent.  And what if that dog wants attention while you're playing with your stupid phone?  Who wins that little contest?

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