Saturday, December 21, 2019
The Holidays are all about good food, good friends, and talking tax refunds
1. Who the hell has a conversation about their tax return- let alone the AMOUNT of their tax refund- during a holiday dinner get-together?
2. It gets even more cringy as the guests begin to push one of their own to tell them exactly how much he got - $3,000? $4,000?- and he responds not with a very well-earned "this is really none of anyone's business and I seriously can't believe we are having this conversation" but with a grin and a "mmm hmmm" that suddenly makes me wonder if someone slipped something into his drink. I mean, seriously, he sounds like he's falling asleep if not simply drowning in his own self-satisfied smarm.
3. "That's more than you got!" Um, excuse me? Do all the people at this table work in the same office, at the same salary? Do they have the same number of dependents and did they make the same decisions over the course of the year? I mean, two people making $50,000 each sitting at cubicles across from each other could have wildly different tax refunds due to a hundred different factors. This is especially stupid even in what is already a very, very stupid commercial.
4. "But I bet it took weeks (to get that refund,) right?" This makes no sense. The IRS does not mail out refunds based on amount being dispersed. Is this guy suggesting that for such a big refund, his smarmy stoned friend must have hired a shady tax wizard who uses so many little-known tricks that the IRS goes through it with a fine-tooth comb before cutting the check?
5. "Actually, I got it the same day" replies our favorite weird, semi-conscious lump of smarm (seriously, what is wrong with this guy? Did he collapse into a coma five seconds after the commercial ended?) And now we get the punchline- Mr. Valium used a "Rapid Refund" service to get his money- in other words, he surrendered a significant percentage of that refund in order to get his hands on the money a little faster. Which makes me wonder about his finances, and convinces me that no one at that table should admire him.
Oh, one more thing If you get a big tax refund every year, you are doing the whole payroll thing wrong. You are giving the United States an interest-free loan with every paycheck. A big tax refund is nothing to brag about; it's an admission that you haven't gotten your act together when it comes to properly managing deductions. Do better in 2020, people. And stop talking about tax refunds at the dinner table. To borrow a phrase from the 19th century, it's downright Uncouth.