Sunday, December 22, 2019

Kay Jewelers endorses the concept of ThoughtCrime



So the guy in this ad is clearly having a crappy day, getting burned out on the whole husband/father thing, feeling overwhelmed by not getting a moment's peace from his noisy, needy family.  He can't even eat a piece of toast and drink his morning coffee without having his personal space invaded by the insatiable demands of these people who live in his house and share his last name.

All he really wants is a few seconds to himself to reflect and recharge- but instead, he's assaulted from behind by his wife, who forces him to look at the Wall of Reminders that his life is NOT his own- he's got a wife, he's got kids, he's got responsibilities.  So stop moping, buddy- you aren't entitled to mope.  You aren't entitled to one freaking eye blink of solitude, because your wife sees you having quiet time as a threat to her existence as the freaking Center of Your Universe.  Besides, she assumes that you aren't just trying to gather yourself, but instead are contemplating how much easier- and fun- your life was before you Bought In and Sold Out.  And how long it's been since you've been out with any of your male friends to the sports bar or to play cards.  Or how cute and nice and almost-worshipful that last babysitter was.

Here's what has to happen now, at least as far as your wife is concerned:  You have to Make Amends for the wandering thoughts you dared to have without so much as a By Your Leave from your significant other.  Go out and get a mid-range piece of jewelry as a way of asking forgiveness for acting like a sovereign Human Being who actually owns the space between his ears.  And don't you ever show even the hint of fatigue, frustration, or bewilderment again or it's right back to Kay for you.

3 comments:

  1. And yet her own life is one long screech-fest about Me Time without end. She isn't a crazy bitch who wants to be the sole thing on this poor slob's mind, she acts as if she were FREE and got KIDNAPPED and FORCED into this life. If he tells her where to shove her shiny-shiny, she's gonna wing a coffee cup at his noggin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Switch the sexes of these people, and the husband reacts to his wife's frustrations by taking her on a vacation or a nice night out, or jewelry. But the guy is tired and burned out, so the cure is....to buy his wife a piece of jewelry? WTF?

      Delete
    2. The idea of sympathizing with a man's feelings is not one occurs to the Elly Pattersons of the world. Men's feelings are a danger to busy women. Men's feelings of fatigue and exhaustion COULD lead somewhere not to her advantage and COULD turns into WILL.

      Delete