Sunday, February 9, 2020

Expedia "Spa Weekend" ad: the only thing dumber is the comment section

If I owned a dog, I'd want a vacation from that dog.  Not a vacation WITH that dog.

And I really appreciate hotels that list themselves as "pet friendly."  To me, that means "people Un-friendly," and tells me they are hotels to avoid.

And now, an aside to all you dog owners who decided to pollute the comment section with your twee nonsense:  "That Look" the dog is giving it's owner in this ad is the only look the dog has.  That's how the dog looks when it's really happy.  That's how the dog looks like when it's really sad.  That's when the dog looks like at all times.  Dogs don't have the facial muscles required to frown, or smile, or any of the things you THINK the dog is doing because you are very sad people who desperately want to fill some weird holes in your lives with a companion that you think "love" you because....well, I'm not going to psychoanalyze you psychos beyond that.

The dog in this ad is just looking at its owner.  Maybe it wants to take a walk.  Maybe its hungry.  Maybe its just a mammal with a brain the size of a walnut that's been trained to have absolutely no clue what to do unless its being directed by its owner (I favor this interpretation as most likely.)  It has zero idea that you're planning a trip without it.  If you leave it at home it will probably be somewhat disoriented for a while, and when you return it will welcome the end of the fear that came with that confusion, and you'll interpret that as "he missed me" and "he loves me" because that's the sad person you are.

But, by all means: take your dog on vacation with you, so it can cut into your relaxation time by demanding walks, meals, etc.  Personally, I think vacations are completely fulfilling even if they don't include having to pick up feces and deposit it into plastic bags, but that's just me.  I'm not insane.

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