Saturday, February 8, 2020

Superbowl Commercial Fail #3- the disgusting Cheetos "can't touch this" commercial

First- congratulations to MC Hammer for proving me wrong in my prediction back in 1999 that we would never, ever see him again.  I'm not a prophet, and I underestimated the power of nostalgia.

Second- this entire commercial is predicated on the theory that lazy twats need an excuse to avoid doing work.  Believe me, they do not.  Nor do they need excuses for when they find themselves friendless and jobless- the reasons are obvious. 

Third- anyone who has ever eaten Cheetos knows that the act of eating them out of a bag does NOT coat your hand with cheese powder like this....unless....and I'm just being charitable here....the consumer of the Cheetos repeatedly licks his hand before going in for more non-food cheese-flavored air puffs.  So the guy in this ad isn't just a lazy twat who wants to avoid helping anyone do anything.  He's also an infant who wants to make absolutely certain no one asks him for some of those non-food cheese-flavored air puffs.

Fourth- go away, MC Hammer. You were not missed.  Not by anyone.  Not even for a moment.

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