Saturday, June 13, 2020

Coming up Next: Cascade suggestively encourages us to run our vacuums over clean floors

Yeah yeah yeah we get it, Cascade:  we are supposed to think that these people are talking about sex.  Wink-wink and all that.  Except, nobody with two functioning brain cells thinks that they are talking about sex before the "big reveal," because, well, we've watched television before. 

So I'm not going to just give a big thumbs-down to the "haha how cute these old people are still intimate isn't that awesome its like imagining trolls mating" message you're obviously trying to sell us in the first few seconds.  Instead, I'm going to point out the absurdity of a commercial which encourages us to "save water" by running our dishwashers every night even if we don't really have anything to wash in them.  What exactly is environmentally responsible about running a dishwasher that is 90 percent empty Just Because?  Ok, that's better than using several gallons of heated water to clean off a few plates and forks, but isn't just giving that stuff a quick wipe and then leaving it in the machine until it's full even better?  Not only will I save water, but my machine might last longer because I'm not putting it to work every night, like clockwork, whether I need it or not.

I expect I'll see car companies encourage us to just run our automobiles for half an hour or so every night- you know, because that will save gasoline as opposed to driving long distances.  Maybe we should keep our windows open while we run the AC, because that's somewhat more energy efficient than just putting the AC unit in the driveway and attempting to cool the neighborhood.  So many ways to save energy we've never thought of.  Thanks for the jump start, Cascade!

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