Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Eargo's Awful Hearing Aid ad that yes, is for a Hearing Aid

1.  The young man in this ad is the one who needs a hearing aid, I guess:  his stupid Significant Other is standing right next to him but he can't hear what she's whispering, but her dad- sitting ten feet away, can.  Because Eargo Hearing Aids turn you into the Bionic Man, or as I suggested before, this young man has very bad hearing.

2.  Stupid Significant Other is Very, Very Stupid.  She decides that THIS is the moment to ask- and insist upon an answer- her "hey I just realized we wouldn't be getting a hotel room tonight, this house is really small, and we'll be having sex later" question.   She won't move one step closer to her Young Gentleman when she realizes he can't hear her, either.  She'll just stand there with her mother close by, her father right there, repeating a question she can't possibly need the answer to Right This Very Moment in service of the gag.

3.  The real punchline is that the young man in this ad can do much better.  There's nothing special about this girl, unless he's really attracted to morons who have difficulty understanding their surroundings.  She could have asked her question concerning Protection in the car on the way to Mom and Dad's house.  She could ask him to step outside (not into another room, since its clear that this house is TINY and that the walls are made of tissue paper.)  But no- she needs to know RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW- again, because the gag requires it.  I'm not excusing her behavior, though- he can do better.

4.  Why do you want a hearing aid that allows you to hear people whispering to each other?  I thought that the best hearing aids allowed you to focus on what was being said to YOU and eliminated sounds (like other conversations) that could overwhelm those particular words?  If Eargo allowed Dad to hear a whispered conversation ten feet away, it also allowed him to hear every car driving by, every clink of every cup and plate, and a myriad of other sounds that would have left that whispered conversation just another ingredient in the wall of noise constantly assaulting his eardrums.  Eargo is making the claim made by those MAGIC SUPER EAR devices you found next to X RAY SPECS and Sea Monkeys at the back of the comic book.  Not very practical.

5.  The YouTube comments that follow this ad....oh my god, you people.  You people are the worst. 


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