Saturday, July 11, 2020

What's a "California Psychic," anyway?

"I'm very conflicted....and skeptical...." and Stupid.  Don't forget Stupid.  This doesn't work without Stupid.

"they can't be for real, can they?"  No, they can't.  Not going to stop you from pulling out that credit card and giving it to a total stranger bleating generalities at you over the phone, is it?

We asked these skeptics about California Psychics, and here's what that had to say!  (It helps that neither they nor our tv audience knows what the word "skeptic" means!)

"You know, it was probably the best psychic reading I ever had!"  And I'm sure that was a really, really high bar to get over.  Pretty depressing to think that this woman has thrown enough money at "psychics" to have a rating system in place.

"I got everything I could imagine from my reading..." wow, if you are impressed by unfalsifiable claims, there's a doozy for you. 

"She told me all this stuff, and I thought 'how could she possibly know that?'"  Umm, what kind of "stuff?"  That you are susceptible to believing medieval BS (especially medieval BS that places you in a good light) bleated at you by a total stranger on the phone?  Honey, California Psychics figured that out about you before they even answered your call. 

You can speak to a "California Psychic right now for "only $1 a minute" (I absolutely promise you that the unreadable text under this announcement includes the words "minimum charge.")  And if it's "not the best psychic reading you've ever had, it's FREE" (but it will be the best psychic reading you have- your aura will tell the reader so.  If you don't agree, it's because you aren't In A Good Place with your aura.  California Psychics can help you with that, too- just stay on the line.  One dollar per minute.

"I wasn't sure about the relationship I was in but now I know he was the right one."  Because the person on the other end of the phone knows that 99.99 percent of the women who call asking relationship questions want to be told that the time and emotion they put into their current relationship hasn't been wasted and he Really Is the Right Person.  Only the tiniest fraction want to hear "dump him," because that means starting all over again and that's a lot harder than just sticking it out.  Being told that your doubts should be set aside and you should just Go For It- whether its in maintaining a relationship with a certain guy or calling California Psychics- is just good business.  I do wish someone could call the guys and let them know they are dating loons who are really dumb with their credit cards, though.

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