Saturday, January 16, 2021

Timeshare Exit Team: Stupid non-solution for stupid people.


This is all supposed to be very cute; Old woman sees the mailman coming.  Old woman somehow knows that the mailman is bringing a bill for her timeshare maintenance fees.  Mailman is absolutely determined to deliver the timeshare maintenance fee bill like it's a court summons.  Old woman is so desperate to avoid these fees, she pulls up her mailbox and runs away with it.  Mailman who understands that this is not how anything works just drops the bill into the hole left behind.  

There's an actual solution to the old woman's problem, but this isn't it.  The real punchline is not "hire the Timeshare Exit Team" either, unless you want two bills related to the Dumbest Purchase You Ever Made instead of one.

There's a radio ad for this company on Sirius XM which is even funnier- we hear the recipient of the bill sigh, tear up the bill, and announce "I'm out."  What makes it hysterical is that the exasperated radio guy's solution to his problem is no more realistic than this woman's.  You can't avoid your timeshare maintenance fees by just tearing up the bill any more than you can by moving your mailbox.  And judging from the comments I've read on, you really can't avoid them by contacting the "Timeshare Exit Team," either.  

"I'm out."  Oh really?  That easy, huh?  Sorry, buddy.  You're still in.  Because you signed a contract.  

Here are some actual solutions to your timeshare problem, which if they sound familiar are very similar to the solutions to your credit card debt problem:

1.  Pay someone to "buy" what you thought was a "great opportunity" during a moment of extreme Stupidity which is totally incomprehensible to me.  

2.  Add your timeshare to the hundreds already being offered on Ebay for free.  Who knows, you might get lucky and get found by someone as stupid as you are.

I'll just close with this:  It's 2021.  The internet is a Thing.  It's in its fourth decade of general usefulness, available to provide instant access to answers to questions like "are time shares worth it?" or "do only morons buy timeshares?"  If you've purchased a timeshare at any time in the 21st century, it's really, really hard for me to have any sympathy for you.  It's really right up there with buying miracle water from Peter Popoff.  There's not much of a solution to the problem of people who simply won't do even the tiniest amount of research before signing a contract. 

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